Episode 4 · Scott Hammond with Kalia Renee · June 26, 2023
Scott Hammond sits down with his daughter Kalia Renee for a reflective conversation about adolescence, sobriety, faith, parenting, work, and the shifting shape of identity over a lifetime.
Listen to the conversation
What this episode covers
- Scott at 15, 20, 30, 50, and 63
- Sobriety, faith, and the long arc of personal change
- Parenting, family life, and what it meant to raise nine children
- State Farm, later-life purpose, and learning to live with more curiosity than control
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Transcript
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Kalia: Hello. Welcome to Kalia's Corner.
Scott Hammond: Hi, Kalia.
Kalia: Hello. It's me, Kalia. I'm here with, uh, Scott Hammond, State Farm.
Scott Hammond: Hi, Kalia.
Kalia: Also known as my dad. Hi, Dad.
Scott Hammond: Hi, Kalia, my daughter.
Kalia: How you doing, bud?
Scott Hammond: It's a good day.
Kalia: It is a good day.
Scott Hammond: Beautiful day.
Kalia: So Dad, Scott Hammond, so who, who was Scott Hammond at 15? Tell me a little bit about 15-year-old Scott.
Scott Hammond: 15 year old. Wow, I haven't been asked that. Um, so I'm 63 today, not my birthday.
Kalia: I was like, it's… Wait, hang on.
Scott Hammond: Not my birthday. So I'm, I'm 15. I h- have just grown my hair long 'cause I came out of being fat at 12.
Kalia: Okay.
Scott Hammond: And I grew up and not out, and I'm in eighth or ninth grade.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: And I'm just flirting with cool.
Kalia: Okay.
Scott Hammond: And my hair's gotten longer. My connection with people is getting better, especially those of the opposite sex.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: Got a girlfriend. She comes over during the day while my mom's working.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: We, um, we have fellowship.
Scott Hammond: And I'm really-
Kalia: Of the intimate, unclothed sort.
Scott Hammond: I'm really good at smoking weed at this point.
Kalia: Oh, well, look at you.
Scott Hammond: And, um, I think I have a, a moral compass. I just wonder kinda where it went-
Kalia: Uh-huh
Scott Hammond: … at 15. I'm trying to think, so.
Kalia: So what was… Were your parents around? Were they together at that point? Were they separated? What was that look? What did home, home life look like?
Scott Hammond: They divorced when I was five.
Kalia: Okay.
Scott Hammond: We moved back to Iowa when I was seven. Uh, they put it back together when I was eight, moved to California, lasted two years, and then Budweiser got in the middle of that marriage again.
Kalia: Ooh.
Scott Hammond: And he-
Kalia: Or one or both?
Scott Hammond: Both. And he split, and, uh, she was left to raise me, and I was, um, you know, grossly overweight, and I was a nice enough kid. I think I was just kinda disgusting.
Kalia: Where do you think that messaging came from?
Scott Hammond: Uh, my mom. "You're a fat hog."
Kalia: Oh.
Scott Hammond: "And I have to shorten your pants."
Kalia: Oh.
Scott Hammond: "Your 14 Huskies from JCPenney, and why do I have to do this?" And I think she was angry herself. She was, you know, drinking at night after work and kind of embittered by her lot in life, and-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … but I was a bright spot. I became brighter and became all that and a bag of chips. So at 15, 16, I'm starting to… I, I haven't worked. I, I know how to play a lot, go to the beach-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … and screw around. And summers, why would you work when you could play? And sum-
Kalia: Yeah, 'cause you were living in San Diego, right?
Scott Hammond: Yeah. San Diego in the summer was a great place.
Kalia: Yeah, beautiful spot.
Scott Hammond: Go to the beach every day, party on the weekends, smoke weed all the time, um-
Kalia: Times in San Diego.
Scott Hammond: Yeah. Had a brief religious spasm. A guy came to the door with a bi- free Bible that I ordered and-
Kalia: Ooh
Scott Hammond: … it was a Cheech and Chong movie. All the smoke came out of the door.
Scott Hammond: He go, I go, "Could you come back in a week?" And he did.
Kalia: Oh, wow.
Scott Hammond: And I look forward to meeting him in heaven. His name is Roy Guess. He was a real sweet, sweet little kind of, you know, the 5'4" round walrus man with a bushy mustache-
Scott Hammond: … and bald. They, they all look the same, but he's a sweet Adventist brother, and he took me under his wing for 13 Tuesdays and told me about good teaching and good, good word of God stuff and according to the Adventist version, which includes taking it easy on Saturday and eating vegetable-
Scott Hammond: … vegetablearians. So, uh, that was good. That was fun.
Kalia: Okay. So, uh, so now tell me about S- Scott at 20.
Scott Hammond: Oh, a different Scott. Um-
Kalia: Yeah. We're moving f- we're, we're moving… I know that 15 to eight, between 15 to 20 is some pretty formative years, but-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … let's fast-forward
Scott Hammond: … things fell apart. Y- 18 year, senior year was really bad. LSD, just ga- kinda gave up and-
Kalia: Mm
Scott Hammond: … didn't do heroin, but just kinda lost it. And first year of college was, was less than pretty, and I-
Kalia: Wait, where'd you go to college?
Scott Hammond: I went to Humboldt State University, which is now Cal Poly Humboldt in Arcata.
Kalia: Which I find upsetting because I also went there, and I don't like that they changed the name of it-
Scott Hammond: Aw
Kalia: … because I find it confusing.
Scott Hammond: You can send your degree back, and they'll give you one that says Cal Poly-
Kalia: Oh.
Scott Hammond: … on the piece of paper.
Kalia: I don't know how I feel about that.
Scott Hammond: I don't either.
Scott Hammond: I, whatever. S-
Kalia: Part of me wants to, but part of me is like, "No, Humboldt State."
Scott Hammond: I went to a, I went to Cal Poly.
Scott Hammond: Whatever. Humboldt where?
Kalia: Anyway, yeah.
Scott Hammond: So that first year was rough, and I thought I could live on my own real well 'cause I was independent. My mom worked, and I was, I did things so I could cook my own food. And, and when you got to college, it was a different experience-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … 'cause you're very alone, and you're very stranded, and no one's doing anything for you and-
Kalia: Yeah, especially m- if you move 14 hours-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … not to another state, but across the state of California.
Scott Hammond: So fast-forward to 20, second year of college. Met Joni, your mom.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: Met Jesus, met sobriety, and met a degree at Cal Poly Humboldt and-
Kalia: Humboldt State
Scott Hammond: … moved in with some folks who were, um, not toxic Christians. They were just home group Christians, and they, Scotty and Debbie took a long time and spent, especially Scott with me, took a long time to ex- really kind of re-explain what the gospel might be and what the kingdom of God is all about. And-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … it made complete sense to me. I read 1 John every day for a month, which is a 15-minute read, debunked all my BS, kind of intellectually dishonest look at God and the Bible, and I had to read it for myself-
Kalia: Mm
Scott Hammond: … and have the Holy Spirit speak to me about what he's talking about. So it was really, uh, a really major shift in time in, in terms of sobriety. I, I fell in love with my friend Joni. We discovered we could be married, and we waited another year and a half, which was fine. And I had to jettison and s- and was jettisoned by cokehead party surf buddy bong loading-
Kalia: Culture of it all.
Scott Hammond: … folks down that I thought were dear friends. And we, we really had nothing in common other thanKind of partying and-
Kalia: Yeah. Drugs and alcohol really bond people together, but as soon as any one of those in the group who does that stops doing it, it's like-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … "We don't really know how to interact with you."
Scott Hammond: Correct.
Kalia: Like, "We knew you on, on weed or, or whatever other substance, and now if you're not doing it, it makes us incredibly uncomfortable."
Scott Hammond: Yeah, the weed runs out, it's weird, and-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … of course, the first time I go back to San Diego, I'm offered a big bag of coke. "Here, snort as much as you want." I'm going-
Kalia: Oh, jeez
Scott Hammond: … "Why didn't you do this a year ago? I would've loved this."
Kalia: Also, coke is terrible.
Kalia: Let me tell you a bit about my coke use, which has not been much, but it's-
Scott Hammond: Oh, please
Kalia: … super up front with you.
Scott Hammond: Yeah, please. Confess.
Kalia: I'm here to confess. So I didn't do coke until I was 31.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: So when I went to Ecuador for a few months right after getting divorced and was just-
Scott Hammond: Mm
Kalia: … in this full new free range of life.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: Um, also the, the cocaine in Ecuador-
Scott Hammond: Wait, they have coke in Ecuador?
Kalia: Turns out.
Scott Hammond: Weird.
Kalia: Who'd have thought?
Scott Hammond: Never knew that.
Kalia: But so I've worked in the restaurant industry for a long time, and I've seen a lot of people-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … have their lives spiral out of control because it went from, "Oh, the head chef is doing coke on the weekends with a few chefs" to you can visibly tell when they're not doing cocaine. So thankfully for me, a lot of people, it's really heavily quickly addictive, so I did it in Ecuador to keep the party going so we could keep drinking longer and have a good time and then I've done it a few times here and there, but recently, a few weeks ago-
Scott Hammond: Mm
Kalia: … I just w- I was at a party, and I was like, "Yeah, why not? You know, I'm drinking a little tequila. This seems fun," and let me tell you how my next day was.
Scott Hammond: Terrible?
Kalia: Nightmare stuff.
Scott Hammond: Wow.
Kalia: I, I have worked as a bartender for 10 years, and I've had many a hangover of a variety of sorts. This was horrific. I could not stop throwing up. I threw up-
Scott Hammond: Wow
Kalia: … in the Carl's Jr. drive-through. I threw up in the Harbor Freight parking lot. I threw up in the Fred Meyer parking lot.
Scott Hammond: Oh.
Kalia: Had to throw up on the side of the road as we're driving out to my fiance's-
Scott Hammond: 'Cause of the coke?
Kalia: … parents' house.
Scott Hammond: 'Cause of the coke?
Kalia: No, because of the coke.
Scott Hammond: Oh, wow.
Kalia: And that's one side effect that I haven't experienced in such full force.
Scott Hammond: You kids out there, learn a lesson.
Kalia: Don't do cocaine.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: The stuff that you're probably gonna get locally wherever you are is going to be laced with some horrifying shit, and it makes you wanna die.
Scott Hammond: Yeah, and don't, don't do fentanyl.
Kalia: Also, yeah, definitely don't do fentanyl 'cause that'll, that'll kill you straight up.
Scott Hammond: So, so at 20, then, I, I had this shift of my life in terms of, um, studying and, and getting sober and kind of detoxing actually over months.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: And meeting my friend Joni and studying, um, not only studying, studying the Word of God, but hanging out with other fellow community members.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: Friday night, Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon, we'd go for a hike in Potluck, and we would just-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … kind of part of each other's lives for about a year.
Kalia: And that probably felt like a really different kind of deep connection versus-
Scott Hammond: It was different. It wasn't church
Kalia: … the party people and the-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … the, the shallow connections you had before.
Scott Hammond: Yeah, and it wasn't church on Sunday, "Hey. Hi. How are you? Good. Perfect. Bye." It was we got to know each other. We got to be in touch with, um, some of the uglies and, and had to resolve some stuff and talk about stuff, and-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … yeah, it's, it's real community 'cause you can't hide. It's eight or 10 of us. It's not, you don't-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … hide out. It's like, oh, and kind of awkwardly, there was a, a- another woman that I had dated in the home group besides Mom.
Scott Hammond: And sh- she made life kind of hellish, so-
Kalia: That's too bad
Scott Hammond: … gladly, it's, that's long gone-
Scott Hammond: … but, um-
Kalia: But that's-
Scott Hammond: And then we decided to-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … plug into a small local church, and then we dissolved it, and we moved on. But the nice part is that Scotty, it was his name, he never, um, never got weird m- monetarily or sexually, or we didn't sacrifice-
Kalia: No
Scott Hammond: … goats or take tattoos or-
Kalia: I love that for you
Scott Hammond: … do anything.
Scott Hammond: It was, it was pretty normal, and Deb was just a gem. They're still friends.
Kalia: This is Scotty and Debbie Miller, right?
Scott Hammond: Yeah, they live in Eureka.
Kalia: Yes.
Scott Hammond: They've, they're-
Kalia: So I've, I've met them, and they're, they're lovely folks. They just seem like-
Scott Hammond: No, they're super-
Kalia: … aging hippies who are delightful and kind and-
Scott Hammond: They're super sweet.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: And they've had their struggles, and who hasn't, so.
Kalia: Yeah, all God's children.
Scott Hammond: Um, that, that's Scott at 20, and then, um-
Kalia: Okay. So all right.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: Now, what's, what's Scott at 30?
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: So at this point, you're married. You're-
Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm, been married for-
Kalia: How many, how many kids in at this point?
Scott Hammond: 30, um, that would be 1980, '90. How old… When were you born, '86?
Kalia: Uh, '89.
Scott Hammond: So I'd had three kids.
Kalia: Just turned 36.
Scott Hammond: Your two brothers and you, and we would've lived on B- on Dow's Prairie.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: And, uh, Little House on the Prairie, little-
Scott Hammond: … it's 12 foot, 1,100-square-foot house with a rental, and I'm working selling advertising, grinding. And so I call those the lost years, from about 30 to 50.
Scott Hammond: Um, having children and grinding and working and just feeding, you know, five, soon to be 11 mouths-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … on one income. I'd come home fricking tired and, you know, just… And I was commission sales, so if I didn't go to work, I didn't eat.
Kalia: Oh, shit.
Scott Hammond: You didn't eat. We didn't eat.
Kalia: No, I remember a lot of, a lot of evenings where, or just a lot of conversations of you doing the job of three people because it's like, "Well, a bunch of guys quit. Guess, guess it's on me now."
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: And also not realizing at the time, oh, you have many children and one income, so if you're not busting-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … your ass and hustling, no one is eating.
Scott Hammond: Yeah. Clearly, I never did jury duty. I shirked it every time.
Kalia: How dare you? I'm so, I'm so ashamed.
Scott Hammond: Look, I'm so glad. I still do.
Scott Hammond: However, there's no way to, to really do that. I never took more than three days off per kid, which is insane, but-
Kalia: Oh, that is kind of insane. How did that feel?
Scott Hammond: At the time, it was normal. Now I look back, it's one of my few regrets. I have a couple.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: That's one of them.
Kalia: What are the others?
Scott Hammond: I mean, Sam just, that works for me, just took six weeks to be with his baby Indy.
Kalia: Yeah, that's, I-
Scott Hammond: He's so glad. He's so happy. And he's so fulfilled. And I go, "Oh, shit, what, like, what a c- I could've did that nine times."
Kalia: I mean, actually, probably you couldn't have because the system isn't really set up for you to be able to do that.
Scott Hammond: Could not have.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Absolutely, no, couldn't, didn't, wouldn't.
Kalia: It's a, it's a wonderful thought to, to-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … have been able to, but I think-
Scott Hammond: You look back and you-
Kalia: … there's a lot of constricting things that probably set you up to not be able to.
Scott Hammond: Yeah. And, and the one thing that IThat you'll hear again before we're done tonight is that you look back and you work with what you had. You, you used your best decisions with the best data-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … and your best intention, and you made, you made your freak- fricking choices.
Kalia: Here's, here's another question-
Scott Hammond: Sure
Kalia: … leads me into a nice place of, uh… So when you and Mom decided to have kids, was there an initial conversation of, "We want to have a lot of kids?" Was it just sort of-
Kalia: … when there's another kid on the way, we're excited about it? Was there ever numbers discussed? Was… Because I'm one of nine, and it was a unique growing-up experience.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: And I, I think you guys did the best you could. And I mean, there's just a hell of a herd of us.
Scott Hammond: You're talking like it's a failure. You just, you did the best you could with what-
Kalia: You tried. You tried hard, Dad
Scott Hammond: … with what you knew.
Scott Hammond: Um-
Kalia: No, I don't mean it like that, but I-
Scott Hammond: I would say mostly the answer's no. I, I don't think we ever methodically planned nine kids and said-
Kalia: Mm
Scott Hammond: … "Hey, what do you think? We're gonna have another one. You wanna do this?" Um, no, we were just busy connecting and being intimate and in love with each other, and expressing that in, in touch and in intimacy.
Kalia: So you're saying we were fucking without birth control.
Scott Hammond: I didn't say that.
Kalia: In not so many words, but here we are.
Scott Hammond: No, and I… And I think your mom, at the core of it, if… So if there was any discussion, it was, "Hey, um, why would we limit our family size?" And, and that's, that's very easy early on to say that.
Scott Hammond: That's, "Oh, yeah, we'll have a second. Okay. We'll have two kids." Like, "Three. Wait, the Williamsons have five. Wow."
Kalia: We can do five. Wait.
Scott Hammond: "Now, now we have seven. What the hell's going on?"
Kalia: What's another two?
Scott Hammond: Um, and the math that you don't do as a parent is to look today at age 63 with an 18-year-old-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … who's got his own mental genius and problems and-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … challenges and, and needs and need to be parented. And when you're a younger parent, you don't really calculate 18 years out and go, "Oh, crud, I gotta… I'm gonna have to be on deck." And it's both energizing and draining-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … as a, as a person of, of advanced maturity.
Kalia: I mean, I could imagine. I've, I've, I've not been a parent, but worked in customer service for a long time, where when you're… have people with emotional needs, and I just deal with some of their emotional needs and their pet food needs or their booze needs. But especially if you have small people that you have to care for all the time, and you have to help them through these emotional issues, and there will be blowups and messiness and-
Scott Hammond: Mm
Kalia: … small people being little shits, and having to work out a lot of things. So I imagine that must have been an increasing challenge the higher the numbers went. But-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … also, I mean, it seems like there must have been… You… Because what I'll say for you and Mom is I can't remember you guys ever having-
Scott Hammond: Mm
Kalia: … shouting matches. I remember a few low-key arguments where voices might have been raised, and then Mom just went for a drive for a while.
Kalia: But without knowing what was going on behind the scenes, you guys maintained a pretty calm, calm facade at least.
Scott Hammond: I hope so. Yeah, I don't think we… I don't think Jodi and I did a lot of open warfare.
Kalia: No, certainly not-
Scott Hammond: Can I sip from that?
Kalia: … which I appreciate. Absolutely, you can. Another little Fireball shot because, uh-
Scott Hammond: I don't think-
Kalia: … there's some packing here
Scott Hammond: … I don't think I'd been to like it.
Kalia: You might. I think you will.
Scott Hammond: I saw this in Iowa in a, in a cooler, like in a cooler keg at a bar.
Kalia: Uh-huh.
Scott Hammond: And all they served was this and then Miller Lite and Miller regular at a tap.
Kalia: Fun thing about the Fireball, so if you buy it at a liquor store in Oregon, it's 35%. You can also buy it at gas stations, but it is a malt liquor. It's 21%.
Scott Hammond: Ooh.
Kalia: So it's not actually booze. But they don't tell you that on the label, so.
Scott Hammond: Feels like mouthwash.
Kalia: Boozy, boozy mouthwash.
Scott Hammond: It's… I've done cinnamon mouthwash for the first time.
Scott Hammond: Um-
Kalia: Okay
Scott Hammond: … no, I don't think Mom and I had open, open conflict. I think we con- conflicted, but we, we figured out how to communicate early.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: I would say, yeah, you're always… Back to your point of small children and dogs.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: I think the needs show up when they're least convenient.
Scott Hammond: It's 10:30 at night, I'm burnt out, I'm doing TV therapy, and here comes Jacob in after work going… and he's mad about stuff. And you gotta, you gotta grab those moments and stop.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Sometimes I didn't, and I failed at that as a dad. I just don't have the emotional bandwidth, man. I can't talk to you about this. Can we-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … is there any, any possible way we could talk in the morning after sleeping?
Kalia: Please, God, give me, give me a minute.
Scott Hammond: And your mom's really brilliant at this. She can actually catch people at their talkative moments.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: Um, I'm usually a lot more self-serving and can't do it or choose to not do it.
Kalia: Yeah, I understand that.
Scott Hammond: But I'm be- but I'm better. I'm better. I spot 'em now, I go-
Kalia: You can do it. Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Yeah, I spot the moment it's starting to go, "Hey, shit, this is…" Plant yourself-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … be present, listen.
Kalia: It's an important one kind of thing.
Scott Hammond: Look them in the eye and listen and, and nod a lot. And l- I think you, like many of the Hammonds, just need to be heard. You already have the answers.
Kalia: Turns out the best therapists are the ones who just quietly question you and probe about the things.
Scott Hammond: They get curious.
Kalia: Absolutely. Okay, so getting curious more about Scott Hammond. Uh, who-
Scott Hammond: Please, my favorite topic.
Kalia: I j-
Scott Hammond: I'm done talking about me.
Scott Hammond: You talk about me.
Kalia: I mean, let me tell you what. There's a reason I have a podcast where I like to hear my own voice, because I am my father's daughter. So, Scott Hammond-
Scott Hammond: That's okay
Kalia: … at 50. What is that about? 'Cause you said last year is kind of between 30 and 50.
Scott Hammond: So at f- 50-
Kalia: When did the State Farm years start?
Scott Hammond: 2014, I would've been 54.
Kalia: Okay.
Scott Hammond: 53, 54.
Kalia: So tell me what that process was like. You went from, you went from ad sales and managing to how did you decide to start your own State Farm agency, be your own registered agent?
Scott Hammond: Well, yeah, as you know, I sold media for a long time, was a sales manager in-
Kalia: Very good at it
Scott Hammond: … newspaper and, in print, and-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … um, and then 10 years in cable. And at 50, I, I was still sober. I was turning 50, and some kids were leaving, and some kids were staying. And, you know, we're still kind of regular plugged-into-church people. Still are, and come to that, I'm sure. Um, and life was kinda going on, and then at, um, 52 or 3, I started feeling my hips really-… aching. We went to Hawaii and I hurt my knee-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … and came back for X-rays. I needed two new hips. Oh, shit.
Kalia: Oh, shit.
Scott Hammond: What am I gonna do?
Scott Hammond: So at 53 I had two new hips at Stanford, which was a great idea, bilateral hip surgery by the-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … the coolest surfer doctor that mastered the bi- bilateral approach, which is, used to cut you all the way around your hips-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … and it would be really slow healing. This is just anterior approach, in the front. So they cut them-
Kalia: Oh, nice
Scott Hammond: … they put them in, and you start walking.
Kalia: Well, well, well. It is magical how they do that stuff.
Scott Hammond: It, it's a lot of OxyContin and oxycodone-
Scott Hammond: … but you get there.
Scott Hammond: You do.
Kalia: We love a good painkiller.
Scott Hammond: You do arrive.
Kalia: You do what you gotta do.
Scott Hammond: But there's a reason those painkillers exist. So, um, during that time, getting my answer about State Farm, I was recruited by State Farm in LinkedIn. And at 53 I was, already kind of had it with media, and-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … the media burnout, and had done it, and I wasn't really challenged, and I was, I was kinda looking prior to that, but my health was failing me. I wanted to come here to Medford, Oregon.
Kalia: I recall this time, yeah.
Scott Hammond: Now you remember that. You know, I was doing a lot of forays up here, and had a little, uh, job offer at the Mail Tribune, which I understand is gone now, right?
Kalia: It closed, uh, within the last year.
Scott Hammond: Crazy. Yeah.
Kalia: So I think you made the right choice there.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: And I was offered a little job to resurrect their shopper paper, and my good friend Ron goes, "Are you a lunatic? What's wrong with you?"
Kalia: Thank God for your good friend Ron.
Scott Hammond: "What's wrong?" I said, "You're a lunatic. What are you saying?"
Scott Hammond: He goes, "Why would you go and take a demotion in a dying industry?"
Scott Hammond: And I go, "Oh-
Kalia: Preach, Ron
Scott Hammond: … crap, he's, he's right. Oh, Ron, I hate you and you're right.
Scott Hammond: Call you later." And so at that point I knew I was looking, and so State Farm came along and they were looking for agents. And my dad had been an insurance agent, as you know, Grandpa Bob in San Diego, and a good, damn good one. And on the Marine Corps base he sold life insurance to Marines.
Scott Hammond: It sounds easier than it looks, folks.
Scott Hammond: And, um-
Kalia: Yeah, that is-
Scott Hammond: He was masterful.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: He was really great. So, I, I drank all the red Kool-Aid, went to insurance school for eight months in, in Orange County, and opened up Scott Hammond State Farm. Uh, it'll be nine years this Labor Day.
Kalia: Damn.
Scott Hammond: I know. Crazy.
Kalia: How you doing?
Scott Hammond: Killing it.
Kalia: Heck yeah.
Scott Hammond: Having a good time.
Kalia: Super glad you g- u- I, I actually, super glad and super jealous you actually got to meet Jake from State Farm-
Scott Hammond: Yeah, Jake's cool
Kalia: … in Las Vegas with your red State Farm Crocs on.
Scott Hammond: His name is Kevin. He's the, an actor.
Kalia: What?
Scott Hammond: His real name is Kevin.
Kalia: Goddammit.
Scott Hammond: He's super cool.
Kalia: You have ruined my illusions.
Scott Hammond: No, he, he was so chill.
Kalia: Jake from State Farm.
Scott Hammond: Super humble, and he, he… Most guys that pose with people for 30 seconds don't talk it up.
Kalia: Right.
Scott Hammond: He was holding women on his lap, and-
Kalia: And he was just, yeah
Scott Hammond: … holds them in the air. He was just a- athletic, he's super nice, and-
Kalia: Charismatic, super fun, sounds like
Scott Hammond: … true. And more people were excited about him than, say, Josh Groban or somebody, if they were doing a photo shoot, 'cause he's-
Kalia: You know, he's that friendly character on TV that's a little more accessible than Flo-
Scott Hammond: See
Kalia: … from Progressive is at this point.
Scott Hammond: Dude, you see him every night.
Kalia: Flo's, yeah, Flo's a bit of a, she's a fun joke, but it's, you know, she's a character. But Jake from State Farm, it's these people calling him with these ridiculous asks, and he's, he's there for you. He's like, "Hey, I got you."
Scott Hammond: I got you.
Kalia: He's this comforting presence, this kind moment, this charming man.
Scott Hammond: That's kinda how he is, yeah.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Super humble. Yeah, it was great to meet him, and so, um, yeah, we're killing it. We're number one in Santa Rosa North in our district. We're-
Kalia: Yeah, fantastic
Scott Hammond: … they sent Joni and I, your mom and I, to, um, Ireland, Great Britain, and, um, Scotland last year on a cruise.
Kalia: Well, well, well.
Scott Hammond: Well, well, well. That was cool.
Kalia: Doing, doing pretty all right.
Scott Hammond: That was cool. I met the Beatles. No, I went to the museum.
Kalia: Sickly
Scott Hammond: That was cool.
Kalia: Well, well, well.
Scott Hammond: That was fun. Drank some Guinness with some drunk Irishmen at 1:00 PM. It was-
Kalia: Hell yeah. That's the way to live your life.
Scott Hammond: Oh, they were, I was, I mean, I had no idea what they were saying, but it was fun.
Kalia: Doesn't matter. As long as you're just cheersing together and being nice.
Scott Hammond: We just had a great time. Saw, saw Stonehenge and-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … just never got out of McKinleyville till last year.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Saw Jake and Stonehenge in the same year.
Kalia: Well, well, well.
Scott Hammond: Same month.
Scott Hammond: It was quite a month last year.
Kalia: What a journey, my God.
Scott Hammond: It was a good journey last… I wanna do that again.
Kalia: Okay. So let's do a f- let's do a bit of a pivot right now.
Scott Hammond: Okay, pivot. Pivot time.
Kalia: All right. You ready for this?
Scott Hammond: I, I don't know.
Kalia: So in my understanding of your, your religion a- and your faith, for my whole life growing up, we were always pretty invested in a church. Church of the Light, pretty conservative church. Calvary Chapel, little less so, but rife with its own horror.
Scott Hammond: Right.
Kalia: So it sounds like now you have taken a bit of a step, maybe not a step back, but you've taken a more evaluative approach-
Scott Hammond: Hmm
Kalia: … of what you view the church as, what you view the Christian faith as.
Scott Hammond: Hmm.
Kalia: Can you tell me a little bit about that and how that may have shifted, or if I'm way off base with that?
Scott Hammond: No, your, your, your question is quite leading and very good.
Kalia: Oh, thank you.
Scott Hammond: I think you know some of the answers already, but I'll, I'll repeat what might be more current. Um, so during COVID, our Calvary Chapel church, which I knew really well, it's kinda like, it's, it's the, the McDonald's and the pair of jeans that you knew.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: The Starbucks that you went to, or the coffee joint that you knew the drink.
Kalia: Comfortable spot.
Scott Hammond: I knew where to sit. I knew how to greet. I knew all of my friends. And, um, anyway, so they decided to not mask, which is, you know, churches couldn't win on that. If they'd masked, or if they didn't, they were gonna just lose. So-
Kalia: I mean, it seemed like there was a while there where if we had just masked because we didn't know anything else to do, it would've been a really good choice. But they chose not to, so not touching on that, but continue on.
Scott Hammond: Yeah. And so, so mom goes, "No and heck no. We've got kids that are vulnerable. We're not gonna do that."
Kalia: Mm.
Scott Hammond: I said, "Okay." And I go, "Why are you always irritated at them? What's your deal? Why are you offended?" She goes, "I'm not offended." I said, "They're our friends." She goes, "Not mine."
Kalia: Ooh.
Scott Hammond: Oh, mic, mic drop. Boom.
Scott Hammond: And it was a wake-up call. And so, um, Catalyst Church was meeting outdoors in Redwood Park, which is quite an amazing place to have church.
Kalia: It's, yeah, I mean, it's super beautiful no matter anything.
Scott Hammond: In the summer.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: And they were just nice to us, so we just hung out. And Bethany's the pastor, and Jason's the pastor, and she does most of the teaching. And the people there, um, are-I didn't know, and they were weird, and I take… Turns out it takes time to, even for a, a, a rapport-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … contractor like myself.
Scott Hammond: I think a rapport, I r- I think a r- I like rapport architect.
Kalia: I, yeah.
Scott Hammond: Even me, Mr. Relationship, happy-slappy, kissing babies-
Kalia: Wow
Scott Hammond: … was really tough to make connection, 'cause there are a lot of hurt people there. And one, one guy, he's a professor at Humboldt, and he goes, "You know, if you're damaged, you'll fit in really good."
Kalia: Yep.
Scott Hammond: I go-
Scott Hammond: … "We are. I think we're, we are."
Kalia: We were talk- uh, on the la- one of the podcast episodes Hannah and I just put out, um, we were talking about how the church is just a group of broken people-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … all coming together in this way of, of fellowship and community.
Scott Hammond: Turns out the non-church is too, so yeah.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Turned out.
Kalia: I mean, our, ours was a ours was a bit of a darker perspective about how the, the dark people can sneak in and do some shit, but-
Scott Hammond: Yeah
Kalia: … you know.
Scott Hammond: We could always use another bozo on the bus. Come on board.
Scott Hammond: So when you find the perfect church, don't go, 'cause you know you'll wreck it.
Scott Hammond: So, so we found the imperfect church, and Mom really liked it. And-
Kalia: So what was, what was different?
Scott Hammond: A lot of, um, people that are not churchy, a lot of people that are, are gender and nonspecific, some may be gay, some who knows, I don't know, didn't ask them. But it's my job to connect with them and be me and not worry about them and to go, "Hey, we're all here together."
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: And there's a tension. There's a tension there, because, um, in Romans, uh, Paul wrote his epistle to the Romans. Took him three months. You know who he sent it with? Not Luke, not Mark, not S- Silas or Demas or any amazing dude. He sent it with a, a Gentile woman named Phoebe.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: And Phoebe was to act that out. She wasn't just to read it verbatim like a speech, a boring-ass Toastmaster speech. Her job was actually pretty important, to be Paul to seven or eight home churches in Rome. And what they're were up against was these are Greeks, Jews, Romans, and people from around the world thrown into a home group of Christians under Christian teaching and supposed to get along together. You think Trumpers and Bideners have trouble. These guys are completely different. And so it's all that one another scripture. Accept one another, love one another, support one another, care for one another. It's kind of a big deal. And there's a lot of tension within that. It's really not, it's not easy. It's not an easy thing. So Bethany has a really amazing way of, um, teaching about that kingdom, about that, that tension that is there. It's unmistakable. It's not an easy thing to go in-
Kalia: Yeah
Scott Hammond: … with a bunch of people who are very different from you and I, to go, "I'm in a, in a home group in Blue Lake, and I'm wanting to correct people, and I have to shut my mouth-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … and listen and accept people and, and, and hear that behind that, that woman's voice is, is a bunch of hurt, or that guy's voice is a bunch of, like, real pain."
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: And to be there to support and connect and have a relationship and to be Jesus for them rather than to, you know, dum- do some sort of dumb correction.
Kalia: So here, here's a bit of a couple hard questions.
Scott Hammond: Sure.
Kalia: Because I was raised in the church. I was 17 and on the bus going to junior college with my Gideon's Bible in hand, just hoping someone would come ask me what I was reading so I could share the gospel. It turns out I got one, who was some weird dude in his 40s, because, you know-
Scott Hammond: Hey
Kalia: … on the bus to CR.
Scott Hammond: Hey.
Kalia: But a lot of the issues I find with the Bible anymore, as someone who's in their 30s doing this deconstructing stuff and really having a lot of issue with a lot of people in the evangelical conservative Christian faith. So but how does it square for you with a lot of the, the hate that the Christian Church or churches that I grew up in, that, that we were in, that spoke a lot of unkindness, a lot of othering, a lot of things that really now looking back felt gross and wrong and, and making them over there as the sinners in the world, and we are over here as the followers of Christ.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: And we are here to save you from hell.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: But if we can't, if you don't accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you're going to hell. Because I remember specifically the, the Church of the Light, the church we grew up in, I remember the essence of the messaging, because I was a little bit involved with the Methodist Church that the karate dojo was a part of.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: And that was this much more love-based, this welcoming, enveloping, they played some Sixpence None the Richer songs at worship services.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: Whereas Church of the Light, the messaging I recall was if you're talking about Jesus being this loving, joyful healer, you're getting it wrong. You're not getting the condemnation and the sin part of it, and the fact that you have to confess your sins and really repent and be in this fear of hellfire and damnation.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: And that always has felt weird to me in contrast of the idea of God is love. He saw you before you were born. He created you in his own image.
Scott Hammond: Mm.
Kalia: But also, if you don't adhere to this specific messaging, that's why we send Christian missionaries to other countries-
Scott Hammond: Mm
Kalia: … to tell them the story of the Jewish Jesus, who was born in Bethlehem, and there were shepherds, and perhaps a lot of concepts that don't resonate with other cultures at all. But if you don't agree or confess this specific message to this God, you will burn in hell forever.
Scott Hammond: Right.
Kalia: And that for me versus the idea of, of the Jesus character, who seemed much more accepting, doesn't fucking work for me, frankly.
Scott Hammond: Are you getting to a question?
Kalia: Well, how do you justify it?
Scott Hammond: Well-
Kalia: Which part do you do?
Scott Hammond: Well-
Kalia: Do you do the Old Testament God? Do you do the, the Jesus of the Bible? Do you do the…
Scott Hammond: Let me tell you a story. In this very home that you're sitting in right now-Um, 20 months ago, I burned to the ground one night. I was in a big fight with your mom, had drank too much, stayed up all night, woke up with complete, utterly fucked anxiety for the first time ever in my life. I, I had adrenaline for days in my chest. I didn't know what it was. I thought I was, um, losing it. I thought I was losing my mind. I was extremely anxious and depressed and, um, and your mother oddly was the focus of it for, for whatever reason. You know, I was really doubting. So what, what happened was… And, and you kids out there with anxiety maybe r-relate.
Scott Hammond: Is that I… It felt like part of me was erased over some weeks.
Kalia: Hmm.
Scott Hammond: Like, like I had this erasure of my identity, my personality, my, uh, my strength, my confidence, my manhood, all… whatever you wanna frame it as. And so I was given a book in t- in counseling by Tamala, who's amazing. Tamala, you're great.
Kalia: Shout out Tamala.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: Sponsor the podcast.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: Always be trolling for sponsors.
Scott Hammond: She might.
Kalia: You never know.
Scott Hammond: So she gave me a book called Search for Significance. The whole guy… The whole premise of the book is really s- She goes, "This is really simple. It might offend you." I go, "No, hit me. I'm, I'm open."
Scott Hammond: "Hit me. I'm open." And I did the work, and I, and I busted my ass, and I went to counseling. And I thought it was couples counseling. Mom just came. It was for me. They, they tricked me. Damn it.
Scott Hammond: So I'm gonna tell you what I learned, 'cause this will answer your question. The, the entirety of scripture teaches that we're beloved by God. He totally loves you.
Kalia: But why did He have all the people-
Scott Hammond: Because-
Kalia: … murder each other in the Old Testament?
Scott Hammond: Because-
Kalia: I'm sorry to be a dick about this, but-
Scott Hammond: No. Well, read-
Kalia: … if you say the entirety of scripture-
Scott Hammond: Please, please read Love Wins, and you'll do better with this.
Kalia: Have you read the-
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: Okay.
Scott Hammond: Yeah, it's… Have you read the book?
Kalia: You're, you're saying the entirety of scripture speaks of God's love, which I will say that the Old Testament certainly does not. It speaks of his love perhaps for one group of people.
Scott Hammond: New Testament. We'll stay… Let's stick in the New Testament-
Kalia: Okay
Scott Hammond: … first argument. You're beloved. You're forgiven. You're actually complete, and you're accepted when you start to walk with God, on whatever level that means, whether that a Billy Graham crusade or you prayed the prayer. I, I don't know what it looks… I don't think it's one prayer and you're in the club-
Kalia: Mm-hmm
Scott Hammond: … and, and then you become a junkie and die. Maybe you do, and maybe you're s- see people in heaven. But it, it really opened my eyes to a new, um, a new identity, a new me, and a God that's amazing. And I don't know. Maybe the Joyful Healer Methodist doctrine is a Universalist Catalyst thing is a little closer to what I believe now, that, you know, the God that tells you… I read this the other day. The God that tells you to love your enemies, he's gonna kill some of his enemies real bad one day.
Scott Hammond: It's like jillions of them. It's like… So, so to answer for the universal church, I, I'm not the guy.
Kalia: No, that's fair.
Scott Hammond: But I, I am confident. And I would answer for me, and I'd answer for Mom, and I think I'd answer for a lot of people even post-COVID. I think there's this new awakening. I think there's a new, a new I get it about God that's really cool and, and that… I don't know about the math of the Old Testament. Did God, did God go and slaughter people? Or did they just do it in his name? I, I don't know. Did people screw up in history and call it God? Yeah, the Crusades. I mean-
Kalia: Mm
Scott Hammond: … what about Hitler? Is he going to heaven? How could he- how could heaven have Hitler and Anne Frank, who never said Jesus?
Kalia: Okay, here's-
Scott Hammond: 'Cause she was Jewish.
Kalia: Here's a real question for you.
Scott Hammond: So is Go- is God really just?
Kalia: Here's a real question for you.
Scott Hammond: Please.
Kalia: Do you believe in an actual hell, like a place where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth and fire for eternity, and people are suffering for eternity because they did not turn to Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior? And w- even if they didn't say the prayer, if they rejected all of that, do you think that there is that place?
Scott Hammond: I don't think scripture talks about it. I think s- it's pretty straightforward that there is a, there's a place of, of darkness, maybe of-
Kalia: 'Cause I think when they refer-
Scott Hammond: … excommunicado with, with God
Kalia: … when they refer to hell, it's actually a very specific place. I th-
Scott Hammond: Well-
Kalia: I wanna say outside of Jerusalem. And it's a place where they would-
Scott Hammond: It was, it was the dump.
Kalia: Yeah, it was the dump.
Scott Hammond: It was the dump where they burned everything.
Kalia: And they, you know, committed some children sacrifices and things of that spread.
Scott Hammond: Well, I think it's a metaphor for separation from God. And do some people need fucking hell? Yes. They've deserved it.
Kalia: No, can confirm.
Scott Hammond: They, they-
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Yeah. I… There's not words strong enough to talk about atrocities of, of addiction or killing people or, or pedophiles or, or torture or just, just the terrible. So, so yes, do I believe that there's a, a reckoning? Yeah. Do I believe that God's super vindictive and wants just to kill folks 'cause it's cool and fun? No. Is there justif- is there, is there justice? I think we all wanna see justice. It's like I don't, I don't think our justice is God's justice. I think we have a, a more vulgar sort of look at that. So I, I do believe maybe a hybrid. I think there's a judgment seat. I think there is sin. I think there is atrocity.
Kalia: But-
Scott Hammond: And I think there is separation from God.
Kalia: Oh.
Scott Hammond: And I, I don't doubt that at all, but is it, is it what we think about because you didn't say the words properly? Are we ever finished until we're finished? I mean, is there… I mean-
Kalia: Pivoting from that, so as you and Mom are now in your early 60s, you're, you're free of children that tie you down to the house. What's, what's life been like post nine childrens? You guys have done lots of traveling, done a lot of wine tasting, a lot of wine drinking, a lot of sunset viewing. What's the, what's the journey been like since you guys have been able to really sink into the you two connection after nine kids are pretty much set on their way?
Scott Hammond: Well, my… I think my answer is I'm still defining that. I'm, I have a coach in Texas. He's a retired Air Force general that's coached me into retirement, and you need two things: health and wealth. If you don't have health, you don't have… You could have health but not wealth.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: You could have wealth but not health, you're screwed.
Scott Hammond: So you need both. So short answer is we're only 18 months into this, and as you know, Mom and I have done a fair amount of traveling, and I think with it, we kinda got some of it out of our system already.
Kalia: Nice.
Scott Hammond: Which is kinda nice but puzzling, 'cause I-
Scott Hammond: … anytime I could hit the road, and we had Gabriel taken care of, our special needs son, your brother-
Kalia: Oh
Scott Hammond: … um, we would splitAnd now it's like, "Oh, let's go to Bedford." "Okay, pack your shit. Let's go."
Scott Hammond: So it's really easy, and yet I'm still working. I still have a State Farm agency, Scott Hammond State Farm, Eureka.
Kalia: Sponsored Scott Hammond State Farm. Hey.
Scott Hammond: Like a good neighbor, we're in California.
Kalia: Like a good neighbor, he could be the sponsor of this podcast.
Scott Hammond: I should do that-
Kalia: Just saying
Scott Hammond: … because it's not my market, but okay.
Kalia: You know, I really lived by insurance that you- but I sure can't 'cause I'm in Oregon.
Scott Hammond: Come to California, we can write life insurance on you.
Kalia: Sponsor me.
Scott Hammond: Deal.
Scott Hammond: So-
Kalia: All right, you heard it on air right now, folks. First-
Scott Hammond: Promise
Kalia: … sponsorship deal, State Farm.
Scott Hammond: Promise.
Scott Hammond: So yeah, it's been an adventure, so yeah, Scott at 63, maybe that's what your last question is.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: We're getting at.
Kalia: Who is, who is Scott at 63?
Scott Hammond: I think, I think I'm curious, and I'm open, and I'm broken, and um, I'm just afraid I was gonna unbreak. There's this, not humility, but there's a, um, a pleasant hurt about me that makes me present and makes me curious. It makes me care about other people and makes me kind of different. There's a book by Watchman Nee called The Release of the Spirit, and that when God breaks you, He can really release you. So it's kind of a paradox, right? That here's this God that's gonna break your neck to make you better. It's like, no, that's not it. There, there's something to be said when you-
Kalia: And whether you call it God or not, it's, it's same thing like with plants. So plants, wheat plants specifically-
Scott Hammond: Pruning
Kalia: … if you break a plant at a certain point in a certain way, it will grow stronger, and I think that's true-
Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm
Kalia: … in life in general. I think that hardship sharpens you, and it-
Scott Hammond: Makes you bitter or better.
Kalia: Bitter or better. I like that a lot.
Scott Hammond: Yeah, and I think, um, gone through some of that, and I'm seeing that I don't… So there's a… I'm reading a book called From Wild Man to Wise Man.
Scott Hammond: It's by a Catholic priest. It's really good, and he talks about this-
Kalia: It sounds fun.
Scott Hammond: I should break the book out and read it right now. The last chapter is about the grandfather, and it's a guy or a g- a grandmother who is broken, who can sit on the sidelines. It doesn't have to be front and center competing and fighting and grinding and doing all that shit that younger people do, but they've seen it. They've dealt with life. They've done the math with death, and it's okay. And they can sit and, and hang out with people on the sidelines 'cause the sideline people are, turns out, are really cool.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: And all the guys in the pit that are, you know, the Big Mouse and the Jabberwockies are just whatever. So the idea that like Nelson Mandela was a grandfather.
Kalia: Mm-hmm.
Scott Hammond: Um, JFK, MLK, all grandfathers. They were amazing. They weren't necessarily old men, but-
Kalia: Mm
Scott Hammond: … they were, um, big in, in spirit, and they were really cool people. And I think, and I don't liken myself to them, but I, I wanna s- I used to grind a lot and wanna be the center of attention and be all that and a bag of chips and be that guy and gotta give a speech. I'm in Toastmasters, so I can come-
Scott Hammond: … speak at your Rotary Club and tell you about my book, Everyday Dad. It's like, no, I don't really even care. You want me to preach? I, nope, really not that interested. And now it's like, you know, if, if it's the right time, I'll come and do a thing. I spoke at St. Bernard's, uh, about insurance this week. It was awesome.
Kalia: Love to hear it.
Scott Hammond: It was hilarious.
Scott Hammond: I asked this guy, I go, "How'd I do?" He goes, "First of all, State Farm is really cool, and second of all, you're a fricking stand-up comic."
Scott Hammond: And I go, "Thanks, bro."
Kalia: Well done.
Scott Hammond: "Thanks, bro."
Kalia: Make the family proud.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: My two goals right there.
Kalia: Okay, so in closing, anything you'd like to impart? Anything you'd like to say that hasn't been explored? Any words of wisdom? Any thought about life? What's a, what's a closing thought?
Scott Hammond: I would say, uh, endeavor to make connection and not control with people.
Kalia: I love that, yeah.
Scott Hammond: I would say be curious. Get, get out of the control game and the fix it game. Just be curious and be neutral.
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: Don't, don't get, don't get any on you. You don't have to. You, I don't have to fix you. I can be totally curious about your total whatever life or lifestyle. Doesn't matter.
Kalia: Mm.
Scott Hammond: You're still a person.
Kalia: Yeah. One thing I've always really appreciated and respected about you is that you are a relationship guy.
Scott Hammond: Thanks.
Kalia: You've always told me business and personal life, like it is all about relationships.
Scott Hammond: Yeah.
Kalia: And I'll tell you what, I've, I have found that to be proven true in all of my life. So-
Scott Hammond: You got some on you, huh?
Kalia: Yeah, yeah. You know.
Scott Hammond: Got some in ya.
Kalia: I am my father's daughter, for better or worse.
Scott Hammond: Kalia, I am your father.
Kalia: Oh, no.
Scott Hammond: So and, and I, lastly, I think I would say that, um, I think it's really important you pick up your damn phone and call people that you love, and if they come to mind, try the spiritual gift of dialing the phone or texting them-
Scott Hammond: … and saying, "Thought about you, love you, hope you're doing okay."
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: "Let's connect."
Kalia: Yeah.
Scott Hammond: And, and then leave it. Build half of your bridge.
Kalia: Yeah. I do build half a bridge.
Scott Hammond: 'Cause a lot of people, a lot of people are, a lot of people really respond to that. They just don't know how to build the first part of their bridge.
Kalia: And I, I wanna say thank you for, uh, im- imprinting that on me 'cause, uh-
Scott Hammond: Yeah. Do you do that?
Kalia: I, I sure try all the time.
Scott Hammond: Who were you at 20, 30, 40, 50, 60? Oh, wait.
Kalia: That's for another interview, bud. I'm the one asking the questions here.
Scott Hammond: I wanna interview you next time. I wanna-
Scott Hammond: … Scott Hammond-
Kalia: Calm down
Scott Hammond: … Podcast and-
Kalia: Again, I am my father's daughter. If you'd like to ask me all the questions about my life and my thoughts-
Scott Hammond: My guest tonight is-
Kalia: I'm here for it
Scott Hammond: … Kalia Hammond, and she's amazing.
Kalia: It's Kalia Renee now. Thank you so much.
Scott Hammond: Kalia Renee.
Kalia: Just changing it.
Scott Hammond: Thank you for coming and being such a special guest.
Kalia: Absolutely.
Scott Hammond: You need a sponsor, right?
Kalia: Uh, I believe State Farm. Scott Hammond State Farm is our first sponsor.
Scott Hammond: You know who I'm gonna go with? Mullaney-
Kalia: It's on recording now, so let's be real
Scott Hammond: … Mullaney Builders is next.
Scott Hammond: Let's go work on him.
Kalia: Absolutely.
Scott Hammond: Well, thanks for having me. Appreciate it.
Kalia: Hey, thank you so much-
Scott Hammond: It's been a pleasure
Kalia: … for being here, and, uh-
Scott Hammond: Big honor
Kalia: … you know, love you so much, appreciate you.
Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.
Kalia: Appreciate your openness and your thoughtfulness and-
Scott Hammond: Thanks. Oh-
Kalia: … asking the hard questions
Scott Hammond: … one last thing I'm doing.
Kalia: Go ahead.
Scott Hammond: I'm in 100 Days of Writing with Shannon Stolz. Remember her?
Kalia: Oh.
Scott Hammond: Thomas Homes Center is-
Kalia: Well, well, well
Scott Hammond: … well, she's a great writer.
Kalia: Uh-huh.
Scott Hammond: She's a coach, so we're doing 100 days of writing, so I'm going to, uh, write my second book.
Kalia: Well, if I'm not in this one, I'm not reading it 'cause I was not in the first one, and I love you, but I resented it.
Scott Hammond: I think you're in that.
Kalia: If I'm not in it, happy end.
Scott Hammond: You probably are in it.
Kalia: I will be now. Otherwise-
Scott Hammond: You're not in the first book at all?
Kalia: No, I'm freaking not.
Scott Hammond: Did you read it?
Kalia: Yes, I did.
Scott Hammond: Didn't thank you?
Kalia: I read it looking for my name.
Kalia: I found no anecdotal fun stories.
Kalia: I found no charming tales about your firstborn daughter with her lovely brown curls and her sassy demeanor.
Scott Hammond: Fine.
Kalia: It was fine, but I was a little bitter.
Scott Hammond: Oh, is that what you call it?
Kalia: No, I was just quiet and weird, all right? I just wanted to hear something about me being charming. I got nothing.
Scott Hammond: You're fully charming. You had a beautiful ping pong dress.
Kalia: Thank you, Dad. I appreciate that.
Scott Hammond: All right, thanks for having me.
Kalia: Dad, love you so much.
Scott Hammond: Love you.
Kalia: And, uh, you know, till next time.
Scott Hammond: Like a good neighbor.
Kalia: State Farm is there. That was the wrong jingle, but please don't sue me, State Farm. Bye.
Scott Hammond: Hey, thanks for listening today to 100% Humboldt. Reach back to us, follow us, share us, and thanks again to our guest. This is Scott Hammond. Come back next time and learn what it is to be 100% Humboldt.