#91. Building Homes and Lives: Tom Rector’s Journey

Scott Hammond: Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors, Scott Hammond with 100% Humboldt podcast with my old and new best friend, Tom Rector. Hi, Tom.

Tom Rector: Hello.

Scott Hammond: How's your day?

Tom Rector: It's full.

Scott Hammond: It's full. We were just talking about that o- off the air, the, how full this thing gets sometimes. And I'm just coming off a time in Oregon, and you're going back up, so-

Tom Rector: Yep

Scott Hammond: … go figure.

Tom Rector: Yep.

Scott Hammond: Yeah. It's, uh, it's weird being, having time off and then coming back and having this compressed day where you're in front of a computer, and I forgot how foggy that can make me when I'm not, when I'm just exposed for too long. But so tell us the Tom Rector story. You're, you're the owner. One thing you do is you own Thomas Home Center in McKinleyville.

Tom Rector: Correct.

Scott Hammond: T- tell us, uh, the, the entire Tom arc.

Tom Rector: The Tom arc, huh? Uh, how mu- how much arc do you want to that?

Scott Hammond: Oh, you-

Tom Rector: It's, uh-

Scott Hammond: You decide.

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: Maybe, maybe the highlights.

Tom Rector: The highlights.

Scott Hammond: It's like the Facebook highlight reel.

Tom Rector: Well, let's see. I'm almost a local. Uh, my folks came into the area when I was

Tom Rector: four, and they, uh, stayed in the old housing of th- housing, uh, up there on Harris, where the mall is now.

Scott Hammond: Oh, the projects.

Tom Rector: Yeah, projects, yeah.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: They stayed, they stayed there until they had a house built up on Humboldt Hill.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, uh, so then my youth was spent on Humboldt Hill there.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: And, um, and then from there, of course, 17 or so, I was ready to move on 'cause I knew everything, right?

Scott Hammond: At 17, you pretty much do.

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah. It's, you know, they say hire them at 18 so, 'cause they know everything, right?

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: I fit that bill.

Tom Rector: Um-

Scott Hammond: D- but did you get hired?

Tom Rector: I, actually, I did. Um, the, uh, so, you know, that includes, uh, South Bay School, uh, there for elementary and Jacobs when it

Tom Rector: existed.

Scott Hammond: Remember that, yeah.

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah. And, uh, Eureka High.

Scott Hammond: Sure.

Tom Rector: Um, so it's kind of the go down the middle of the road kind of thing. I, I got, uh, I wanted out as soon as possible, so the senior year, second half of senior year was, uh, um, just a half-day school so I could be working and, and, uh-

Scott Hammond: Nice

Tom Rector: … that all, you know, that all worked out really well. And, and, uh, uh, I figured I was gonna work for my dad and his business. His business was Bailey Suit.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, uh, and, uh, of course, then I got to be an old 18-year-old and thought I knew-

Scott Hammond: Right

Tom Rector: … everything, right? So-

Scott Hammond: Way more than Dad.

Tom Rector: Yeah, way more than Dad. And, and from there I went and found other employment. And, uh, coincidentally, just totally coincidentally, I, I ended up getting a, uh, funky job working for a general contractor, Marvin Condit.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: And, um, I worked for him for, um, I don't know, some months, maybe a year. Don't remember exactly. And he ran out of work, so he loaned me out to another contractor, uh, uh, Lloyd Staggs.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: And, uh, worked for him for a few months, and, uh, then I'd, of course, knew everything there was to know about it, so I broke off and went and built some apartments and-

Scott Hammond: Hmm

Tom Rector: … um, worked with a contractor under his license and independently and made an arrangement with him and built some apartments and then got a contractor's license. I think I got it around '72, so I

Tom Rector: was-

Scott Hammond: Oh

Tom Rector: … probably around 22 or something like that. And, uh, then once that was, then I was, man, I really knew my stuff then, right? So-

Scott Hammond: You were really on your game.

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah. So we, uh, started building houses, and we discovered the, uh, Farmer's Home, m- Farmer's Home program financing, which allowed, allowed people to get a home without any down.

Tom Rector: Uh-

Scott Hammond: Right

Tom Rector: … but the program had really stringent criteria with regard to no fluff, no, no frills, and they assured that by having low values that they had for it. So we figured out how to build under that program.

Tom Rector: And-

Scott Hammond: Hmm

Tom Rector: … Shelly, my wife, uh, who is– We just celebrated 55

Tom Rector: years.

Scott Hammond: Congrats. That's awesome.

Tom Rector: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, so, um, sh- she, she did all the paperwork, hallelujah, and, uh, I did the go to homes and talk to people and organize it and run crews and stuff. So you work during the day with your hands and w- work with your smile in the evenings with folks.

Tom Rector: And-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm. Sure

Tom Rector: … uh, we, we did quite a bit going on. And there was one, there was a house up on Humboldt Hill that we were working on at the time, and we were getting delivery of the trusses, and the driver commented that we, um, the, the gentleman that owns the truss plant, local truss plant at that time, his name is Paul Lindley, he was looking at selling his truss plant. And, and so that intrigued me.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And so I, I went over and talked to him. "Hey, I heard you were gonna sell this." And the end result is I sold a bunch of rentals to get enough money to get a decent down payment, went and talked to the banker and-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … in those days, bankers could actually make a decision at the local level.

Scott Hammond: Right. Remember that?

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah. I still remember that. It's gone, but I remember it.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: And, uh-

Scott Hammond: With a handshake sometimes.

Tom Rector: Yeah, almost. Almost. And of course, I'm just a kid at that point

Tom Rector: in his eyes.

Scott Hammond: Sure.

Tom Rector: Not my eyes, obviously. But so anyway, we bought the truss plant and ran a construction company and, uh-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … d- did the trusses and,

Tom Rector: uh-

Scott Hammond: And still

Tom Rector: … that was in, uh, that was in

Tom Rector: '75.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm. You still do, right? Make trusses.

Tom Rector: We still do. That's one of our divisions, yes.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm. That's cool.

Tom Rector: Yes, yes. Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Two things that stand out. Shout out to Shelly, by the way. Hi, Shelly. I know you're gonna see this sometime. And I, I understand she's a, has her contractor's license.

Tom Rector: She does. She-

Scott Hammond: That's cool

Tom Rector: … she's the one who holds the Oregon contractor's license-

Scott Hammond: Okay

Tom Rector: … and I hold the California contractor's license.

Scott Hammond: So you could go both ways.

Tom Rector: Yeah. She was tickled pink too, 'cause she, she went in, she was in her late 60s when she went in-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … to get her contractor's license, and they kinda gave her an eyeball, "W- why are you here, lady?"

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, and she was one of the f- she was one of the first to complete the test and leave, so-

Scott Hammond: Right

Tom Rector: … she was really pleased about that.

Tom Rector: And-

Scott Hammond: Yeah. No, we go back a ways. Yeah, that's- Uh, that's really a great story. The– I wanna go back to Bailey Suits-

Tom Rector: Uh-huh

Scott Hammond: … 'cause that's, for those of, those out there that'll know what that was, uh, they were commercial wetsuits manufactured in Fortuna. They were wor- world-class dive, dive suits, right?

Tom Rector: Yeah. He-

Scott Hammond: For cold water?

Tom Rector: Yeah, he started, uh, wetsuits, yes, as opposed to dry suits.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, uh, he started that, uh, when we were in the

Tom Rector: project, uh, which would be 70 years ago. He started that it, and he did it, it was an extension of his, just his enthusiasm for diving.

Tom Rector: He got-

Scott Hammond: What's his name?

Tom Rector: Carl. Carl Rector.

Scott Hammond: Okay.

Tom Rector: And, um, so he just started out of a closet and built the business up-

Scott Hammond: Mm

Tom Rector: … and it became, uh, natio- national, international. And then, uh, toward the end of his career, um, he moved into exposure suits.

Scott Hammond: Mm.

Tom Rector: There was, uh, some laws changed where boats had to have exposure suits, so-

Scott Hammond: Right

Tom Rector: … people jump into the suit before the boat sinks-

Scott Hammond: Right

Tom Rector: … and so they can survive. And he did really well on that.

Tom Rector: Um,

Tom Rector: and but that waned and went, went away and so his last years were pretty tough financially, pretty tough for him, so.

Scott Hammond: Business is tough.

Tom Rector: Uh.

Scott Hammond: As, as you know.

Tom Rector: Every day you gotta be on.

Scott Hammond: That's true, yeah.

Tom Rector: You gotta be on.

Scott Hammond: And if you're, and if you're not moving forward, you're going backward.

Tom Rector: Yeah. Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Ricky Bobby, "If you're not first, you're last." No, that's true. Uh, so tell us more. Did you, did you do ever, ever do any university studies, or did you go straight into the trades?

Tom Rector: You know, the only dabbling in that is CR for four accounting classes-

Scott Hammond: Yeah

Tom Rector: … so that, uh, I needed, I needed that, wanted that, uh-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … for the balance sheet and-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … income statements and stuff, 'cause you gotta run a business by the numbers,

Tom Rector: right?

Scott Hammond: Yeah. No, you have the-

Tom Rector: So

Scott Hammond: … you have the demeanor of a well-educated man.

Tom Rector: Oh, well, thank you.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: I got the bald head for it, too.

Scott Hammond: They, they gonna say I got the lumps on my head for it. School of hard knocks. I have a ma-

Tom Rector: I-

Scott Hammond: … a master's and a doctorate

Tom Rector: You know, I've had folks comment about I spent 100,000 or 300,000 for my education.

Scott Hammond: Uh-huh.

Tom Rector: And I says, "That's, that's cheap compared to the school I went to of-

Scott Hammond: Yeah

Tom Rector: … hard knocks."

Scott Hammond: Yeah, the ebbs and flows and the-

Scott Hammond: … profits and losses.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Fifty-five years of marriage, I, I applaud you, man. I, I just hard stop on that 'cause it's such a– Marriage is such a cool and, and amazing and multifaceted journey.

Tom Rector: Well-

Scott Hammond: And, uh, c- kudos to you and Shelly. It's awesome.

Tom Rector: Yeah. Much-

Scott Hammond: And five kids?

Tom Rector: Five.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Yeah, four surviving and, um, yeah, met

Tom Rector: Shelly, um, as, uh, 16 and 17 year olds.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Married at 18. So-

Scott Hammond: She's from Eureka as well?

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Wow. Just started dating and…

Tom Rector: Uh, no. We started by me teasing her in the hallways at the school

Tom Rector: first.

Scott Hammond: Oh, of course.

Tom Rector: That's where we started, right. And then, and then you progress to something good.

Scott Hammond: Like any good relationship. That's good. And five k- wow, that's neat. And I know Shannon, of course. Hi, Shannon. Shout out to Shannon. And, uh, your– Does your son still run Thomas Home Center in McKinleyville?

Tom Rector: So we have, uh, we ended up with two girls and three boys. The girls were the youngest and the oldest.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, uh, the second born, Nathan, he, from the time he was 17, 18 years old, he took over all of the, uh, technology part of the company and, um, software, writing software and hardware and all that kind of stuff, and he went out on his own and has, has had his own business for 20 or 30 years probably. And-

Scott Hammond: So you adopted tech early.

Tom Rector: So y- yeah, we were.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: We were, yeah. Yeah. I talk about we got these cell phones, right, you know, and they can do all these kinds of things and, and when I started, we had a IBM 32 and it was the size of a nice desk.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: And, and it only had, like, four lines or so. It was, the, the, the progress has been tremendous, but-

Scott Hammond: Oh, yeah

Tom Rector: … and it's cool.

Scott Hammond: CAD drawing and the whole nine.

Tom Rector: Y- yeah, it's just amazing.

Scott Hammond: So he's an early adopter. Now, did you guys homeschool? Did I remember that right?

Tom Rector: We did, uh, the second set. Our– We, we, our parenting thing has been two, we raise two children. When they're out of the house, we started over-

Scott Hammond: Wow

Tom Rector: … with three more.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: And the younger three, there was, um, we were

Tom Rector: pretty– Y- when you get to do it a second time, just kinda review what you did, it's, y- there's things of, of improvement, right?

Scott Hammond: Always, yeah.

Tom Rector: And, um, one of them was that we were very clear that the school needed to fit the children rather than the children fit the school.

Scott Hammond: Good word.

Tom Rector: So, um, we, we chose different school scenarios depending on the need and the ages that were going on. So-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and one of those was homeschooling for a while.

Scott Hammond: Sure. Absolutely, yeah. I think we d- knew you guys back in the day.

Scott Hammond: Um, uh, and w- you must be a, a f- a fabulous expert on parenting then, that c-

Tom Rector: Oh, I don't know anybody's an expert.

Scott Hammond: You know what, thank you. I'm, I'm leading into further discussion later on. Uh, if you're just joining us, my, uh, great friend, Tom Rector, talking about his history in Humboldt and, um, his business and we're gonna get into involvement in kids and Casa and, uh, your advocate, uh, advocation for children and, and kids and, and their parents, right? And what, what, what you're all about there. Uh, let's, let's talk about, uh, McKinleyville first.

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: We'll go back to McKinleyville since I'm going back there tonight anyway.

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: We're-

Tom Rector: It's a long ways away.

Scott Hammond: Yeah, it's 22 minutes and there's no- … there's really, there's one, one traffic stop at the end of Eureka, and if you're really smart, you use the cheater lane, which I talked to the guy that designed it for Caltrans.

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: He goes, "It's designed for cheating."

Tom Rector: Oh

Scott Hammond: It, it cr– coming in, you have three lanes now into Eureka.

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: Coming out, you got three. So it mitigates traffic and modulates a lot of

Scott Hammond: what, uh, are backups to, uh, uh… I'm– And I tend to be digressing here, so. So you've seen McKinleyville through a few changes after you bought Whipple's Building Supply, right?

Tom Rector: Yeah. Yeah.

Scott Hammond: How many years ago was that?

Tom Rector: Uh, that was in '84, 1984.

Scott Hammond: Crazy, so '94.

Scott Hammond: 40 years?

Tom Rector: Mm-hmm.

Scott Hammond: Wow. And, and you're multi-division there. You guys have a lot of…

Tom Rector: We do. We have four main divisions. The, um, our trust, trust operation that we had taken on on '74, '75.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Um, our, um, home improvement division is based off of our general contracting. We started in '72.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And then the– When we purchased, and it was Earl Whipple's business at that particular time. He was 65 or so when he retired and was selling.

Scott Hammond: Nice guy.

Tom Rector: Um, uh, he was a challenge, uh, if you were on the opposing

Tom Rector: lines.

Scott Hammond: Ah, okay.

Tom Rector: If you were on the same line, he, he was a great person.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: Great, great person.

Scott Hammond: Don't get on his bad side?

Tom Rector: Yeah. Um, uh, he just knew how to take care of his interests and-

Scott Hammond: Okay

Tom Rector: … and what should be done, and he had his strong beliefs, and like so many of us do when we're that age.

Scott Hammond: Sure.

Tom Rector: So his business was the retail store lumberyard, and, uh,

Tom Rector: he had, um, a, uh, overhead door business that was with it too. So those four divisions are what makes up Thomas Home Center at this point in time.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Um, and then each of those divi- divisions evolve and, and shift and shuffle based off the market conditions and the products that are available and-

Scott Hammond: Brilliant.

Tom Rector: Uh-

Scott Hammond: Good, good business model.

Tom Rector: Well, the focus really is about the, is the homeowner, the person who owns the home.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And we obviously help commercial businesses in the garage door

Tom Rector: business.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And we have, um, several of the Caltrans contracts for the overhead door business and, uh… But the general focus is on the folks who

Tom Rector: own homes.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And they're either fixing them up or getting ready to move out of them

Tom Rector: or-

Scott Hammond: Sure

Tom Rector: … or, and right at the moment, we're doing a lot of work with regard to, um, age, aging out, uh, conditions, so handicap and-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and stabilizing and easy access to

Tom Rector: showers and-

Scott Hammond: Yeah

Tom Rector: … things like that, so yeah.

Scott Hammond: I heard a stat yesterday, we were up in Oregon.

Scott Hammond: Um, 28% of America lives alone-

Tom Rector: Oh

Scott Hammond: … as elders.

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: And I'm going, "That's, that's stunning. If it's 20, it's a lot." To almost a th- a third are, are solo seniors.

Tom Rector: Oh, yeah.

Scott Hammond: With, with nothing and nobody.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: I'm going, "Wow."

Tom Rector: Yeah, and, and I see a lot of them.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Um, I see a lot of them, and so many times it's ladies.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Um, and, uh, and they, they need somebody they can trust.

Scott Hammond: Sure. And they got it with y- y'all.

Tom Rector: Well, I think so.

Scott Hammond: You should. You hear that every day. Yeah. So, uh, uh, you bought from Earl, and he sold that, uh, that whole thing.

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: And then you diversified it. Where do you make the trusses? Are they made in Valley West somewhere? I don't remember.

Tom Rector: Really– Originally, the truss operation was on Gentilly

Tom Rector: Lane.

Scott Hammond: That's right.

Tom Rector: And we were there for a couple decades.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: And then, uh, we made some modifications to the warehouse there on Sutter Road and moved the truss division

Tom Rector: up there-

Scott Hammond: Okay

Tom Rector: … which, um, had two benefits. One is that it reduced some costs. Uh, but more importantly, it made it easier to, uh, run the

Tom Rector: business-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … because you, you can just go out to the backyard rather than-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … driving down, so.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: It was, uh, but it was a big deal, a really big deal at the time. So yeah, it's back there. It… You don't see it. You-

Scott Hammond: I was gonna say, it's pretty concealed.

Tom Rector: Yeah, it's in the backyard.

Scott Hammond: You don't, you don't hear much. Yeah, my son Jesse, uh, worked for you for a season or two. He's a, he's a doctorate student at Davis and now-

Tom Rector: Ooh

Scott Hammond: … now lives in Amsterdam with his sweetheart.

Tom Rector: Wow. That's a long ways away. Did he pick the furthest place from you?

Scott Hammond: No, I– You know, they looked all over the world. She got a job with Nike Europe.

Tom Rector: Oh, okay.

Scott Hammond: Which sounds really sexy, but it, apparently they're not that efficient up

Scott Hammond: on top, so I don't know. What are you gonna do? But they, they looked all over. They found– They wound up in this town south called Ut- Utrecht, which is-

Tom Rector: Hmm

Scott Hammond: … about a third of the size of Amsterdam, but all the same features, canals, bikes, mass transit, beauty.

Tom Rector: Oh, okay.

Scott Hammond: And, um, they love it. They don't wanna move back. And, um, bought a very expensive flat, but love, love everything about it. It's, you know, lots of art-

Tom Rector: Oh, that's good

Scott Hammond: … and culture and just a cool place to live and visit.

Tom Rector: That's good.

Scott Hammond: And we get to go back, uh, once a year and say hi. So let, let's talk about kids. So k- kids have, have been in, um… Well, I don't wanna say trouble. K- kids have been a challenge since, uh, I think the Earth began, but kids today, we'll go– Well, let's, let's fast-forward through history.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: That was a short history lesson.

Scott Hammond: Where do you, where do you– So kids have challenges and ki- kids and families.

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: And, um, uh, I wanna, I wanna, uh, uh, premise this with, uh, before we talk about your ad- ad- advocating, um, for all of us parents who need help with kids and kids that need help with their parents. Um, it- it's a tough go, man, and it's– I'm understanding at 65, I'm still 25 or 35 inside, but it- it's, it's a, it's a tough thing watching my kids raise their kids. I mean, in, in, in quote, "typical families." So I, I can imagine that the atypical in our, uh, in our communities have a heck of a time that don't have money or privilege or resources or

Scott Hammond: schools or- Or parents that give a darn, um, there's them. Uh, and I, I just kinda, you know, that heart for kids, uh, I think we share that, and, uh, I wanna know more about yours. And tell me about foster care and adoption and CASA, and maybe touch on some of those things you've been involved with.

Tom Rector: Well, uh, as I said, we, we raised two children, and then we, uh, then we started over with three more, and our two youngest of those three were adopted to us.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Um, one came to us at eight months, and the other one, uh, the youngest, came to

Tom Rector: us at birth.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: Uh, and, uh,

Tom Rector: the, the reason we did that is because we enjoy being parents. That's, um, that's the motivator. There's reason for it. So we ended up parenting for 40 years instead

Tom Rector: of 20.

Scott Hammond: Atta boy.

Tom Rector: Uh, so, uh-

Scott Hammond: Me too. Me too

Tom Rector: … you too, yeah, except-

Scott Hammond: 42.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Tom Rector: And, um, the, the experience, though, the second time around, was, uh, different than the first time-

Scott Hammond: Sure

Tom Rector: … for two reasons. One is that we had adopted children, and two is the world had changed and changing-

Scott Hammond: Mm

Tom Rector: … kind of thing. And so how do you navigate all of what I would call slippery slopes that are out there for the

Tom Rector: kids?

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, um, so, uh, in m- my particular case, I was very active in advocating. And so CASA, as you mentioned, CASA, CA- uh, that was CASA of Humboldt, was a place that I originally signed up to volunteer-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and that, uh, that happened the day that the adoption papers went through for our first-

Scott Hammond: Oh, wow

Tom Rector: … first child.

Scott Hammond: So CASA's court, court appointed-

Tom Rector: It's special advocate, yeah, yeah.

Tom Rector: And, um, and that– It just– There's, there's so much to do in that area. And I ended up with, um, a case, one case, two boys, nine, nine and eleven, and, uh, I was with them until they aged out of that-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … uh, situation. The, the learning of it is that it's not simple. It's just not simple. The learning of it is the resources that are out there to help are, um, spotty at times-

Scott Hammond: Mm

Tom Rector: … or n- are just not deep enough-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … to, to help out.

Tom Rector: Um, and so-

Scott Hammond: Is that Cal- is that California or Humboldt in particular?

Tom Rector: Uh, um, well, my personal experience is, is California, uh, both Humboldt and Del

Tom Rector: Norte.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Uh, I don't have personal experience with other areas, but all the people that I've spoken to, it seems to be the situation. Um, I, I many times have said is if everybody could be a foster parent for a couple years, they would vote

Tom Rector: differently-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … uh, on m- a number of things, right?

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Just because knowing makes a difference on the judgment call, right?

Scott Hammond: Sure.

Tom Rector: Um, so anyway, the, the experience of being an adoptive parent, the splat in the face was that, uh, what makes sense and works and prod- pr- creates a productive result with my own birth children didn't work for the adopted children. And I went searching for why. Why, why is that? What is going on? And the learned lesson out of that, which wasn't overnight, but learned lesson of that, was the genetics of the person are profoundly important to understanding how to parent that particular

Tom Rector: child.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: And, um, that– and that was a foundational component of, of further research and development and, and advocacy and teaching that

Tom Rector: I do now.

Scott Hammond: It's, it's some of the work that you do in the presentations-

Tom Rector: Yeah

Scott Hammond: … and speaking.

Tom Rector: Right, right.

Scott Hammond: World-famous speaker, I hear.

Tom Rector: Uh, world, I don't know if I… Well, maybe they hear me over there on the other side.

Scott Hammond: They probably will. There's the Int- internet. I think you touched on something that's really key, and I th– and I read this

Scott Hammond: recently.

Scott Hammond: The, the raising of kids in the last fifty years, sixty, c- c– just name a window, took this major change from an analog world to a digital world.

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: And it's no small thing, and it's still morphing. So you got all these, all– I mean, I've watched my twenty-one-year-old go nuts on, on Instagram and just, like, like that's some sort of reality for him. And I'm going, "Wow, this is… Things have really quite shifted." And he's not a, he's not– He's a bright kid, but I'm going, "You c- you can't adopt values or opinions from, uh, n- not only third world, but virtual w- third world."

Tom Rector: Virtual.

Scott Hammond: It's like it's that, that far away.

Scott Hammond: So, uh, it, it– The challenge is, is interesting. So your genetics. So how would you, how would one determine, uh, how to re-parent or do a parenting job different with a non, a

Scott Hammond: non, uh, an adopted kid?

Tom Rector: Um, well, the, the teaching and the trainings that I provide and have provided for the last couple decades is that y- y– there's, there's essentially three things that you need to know and understand of each person, each child. O- o- one is what are their memories?

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Uh, two is what is their genetics like? And three is to remember they're a

Tom Rector: human-

Scott Hammond: Mm

Tom Rector: … and have a clear understanding of what is humanity, and-

Scott Hammond: Mm

Tom Rector: … that's, that's lost. A whole lot of that is lost.

Tom Rector: And-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and so what people will hear in my training, a piece of, a small piece of it is we need to remember

Tom Rector: that- We, we as a species are, are wanting to be an individual.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: But concurrently with that, we want to belong to a group.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: And those are

Tom Rector: opposites.

Scott Hammond: Right.

Tom Rector: They're opposites-

Scott Hammond: Right

Tom Rector: … and yet we want to co– we, we need both. We need, we need both of those.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, um, w-we need to also understand as humans is that our strength that we draw upon to promote our survival, like don't be anxious kind of thing or get out of the way of the truck or whatever it is-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … is that we have adaptive behavior-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … that we choose to, uh, change our behavior to enable us to navigate the world around us. And to do that, we use our

Tom Rector: memories.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: And w-we need to come to a clear understanding that our memories are the foundation of whatever choices we make.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: And so if you want to make a difference, you wanna have an impact, you want to empower someone, it's knowledge. It's knowledge, memory, and, and whether that's a skill or it's an education or it's an experience, however you get those, they're all the same thing. They're all memories that you draw upon. So the choice that you make is going to depend on those memories, and how you do that is going– how you choose to use those memories is going to be affected by your genetic nature.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: So if you're an introvert or you're an extrovert-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … or you're a tactile learner or you're an intellectual learner,

Tom Rector: all of this-

Scott Hammond: Audio, audio learner.

Tom Rector: Yeah, audio learner, visual.

Scott Hammond: Do you hear that out there? Audio.

Tom Rector: Audio, audio. Um, so we– if we want to be successful in the parenting as much as possible, we need to start from that place and, and be very dialed into what-

Scott Hammond: Yeah

Tom Rector: … our child or our person or our spouse, those. And then we need to be able to communicate in whatever fashion-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … that registers through their filters.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: So we didn't have to worry about that forty years ago because there was not as many slippery slopes. There wasn't the ability to go around the power centers.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: To… You can now go directly to wherever you want in the world at any one time and get that information and believe it or not believe it. So-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … th-that's the fundamentals of that is to-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … be able to-

Scott Hammond: I like that. So I, I resonate with that, and I think that's why, that's why we homeschooled, 'cause you could gear the curricula around the kid.

Tom Rector: Mm-hmm.

Scott Hammond: Um, audio learners galore and, you know, Kalia was a tactile learner. She's very good with her hands, still is. And so we were able to take kids to that next level by feeding them, uh, correct curricula in, in a, in a environment that met their need-

Tom Rector: Right

Scott Hammond: … and their gift-

Tom Rector: Right

Scott Hammond: … and their genetics.

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: So I get that. I also, um… No, I, I think that's great. And I, I wonder how that plays into the five languages of love that, uh, Townsend and his partner wrote. Um, Cl-Cloud and Townsend wrote this book. So we ha- we have these five languages, um, uh, acts of service, words of encouragement, tactile touch, um, uh, gifts, gi-giving, giving a gift. Um, some people really love that one. Um, and so these are, these are fundamental languages, especially, well, not just with romantic couples, but with, with people. So I, I think of th-those and I'm– I equivocate to some of the, the stuff you're talking about and I go, "Oh, okay." You, you have to meet people where they are is what I heard you just say.

Tom Rector: Right. Right, right.

Scott Hammond: But spec-with specificity. How, how do we, uh… If I understand this person's had trauma, I'm gonna deal

Scott Hammond: differently. First of all, they're valued and they're beloved and they're people. Th-th-let's go with that law first.

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: Secondly, let's, let's meet it– If I'm going to serve others and be on a noble mission that I hope I'm on and you're on, we're on as a c-country, as a world, um, I'm gonna meet needs, which means looking for them.

Tom Rector: Or recognizing them.

Scott Hammond: And recognizing them. Yeah, be– J-and, and that's all training. And I think this is– I love this 'cause this is all learned skills that we– I could learn this.

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: If I could learn mechanics or computing or podcasting, why can't I learn to read my kids or my friends or my wife?

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: And adapt my,

Scott Hammond: my behavior, my needs, my whatever to them.

Scott Hammond: And I think

Scott Hammond: it… I don't wanna go too deep into your material 'cause I, I think I get it. I like it. Um, and I'm excited a little bit about it. But I think what it, what it requi- it presumes is that I would be

Scott Hammond: of service. Once I had that knowledge and that skill set, that I could be, for lack of better words, just of service to others,

Scott Hammond: to,

Scott Hammond: to help-

Tom Rector: Yeah

Scott Hammond: … to be helpful.

Tom Rector: Yeah, and, and I, I guess I would be a little broader in that in the sense

Tom Rector: that if you can truly recognize the individuality of the person, then your ability to communicate is gonna be more successful.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And communication is, uh, where all the relationships are.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: That's where all the things happen.

Scott Hammond: The connection.

Tom Rector: The connection. So it, it essentially applies to

Tom Rector: all.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Uh, and it can be targeted s- or, or, or used m-more explicitly in s-special situations.

Tom Rector: But

Tom Rector: it's, uh- It's all over

Scott Hammond: So, so, uh, my notes say biosocial cognition.

Tom Rector: Yes.

Scott Hammond: Is that what we're talking about?

Tom Rector: Yes.

Scott Hammond: Okay. So there's a, there's a biology piece of it, and there's also the environmental piece.

Tom Rector: There's, um, there is the biology and

Tom Rector: the, um, the recognition-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … of the intellectual recognition.

Tom Rector: And so, um,

Tom Rector: y- there's… It's really, really straightforward is who's the

Tom Rector: person, who's the person-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and understand that as humans, how we use those pieces of the person and their, their memories-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and their genetics-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and the person. So if we don't understand or recognize or know what those memories

Tom Rector: are-

Scott Hammond: Or want to

Tom Rector: … oh, well.

Scott Hammond: There's-

Tom Rector: And, and if we don't, if we don't recognize-

Scott Hammond: Mm

Tom Rector: … and accept that the person that we're talking to is not me, it's you-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … uh, then our opportunity to successfully communicate with this person is going to be inhibited.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And all of that is if we just focus on it and become aware of it in that particular fashion-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … we recognize it. We can see it.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: We can be trained to be more dialed in.

Tom Rector: We can be-

Scott Hammond: Yeah

Tom Rector: … trained to be more sensitive to it.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Uh, but we have the capacity to do it on an individual level. It doesn't… It's, it's person by person.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: So it's– If we d- That's what, what we wanna do.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: It's what we wanna do. We wanna also understand human nature, and human nature is such that w- whatever our behavioral choices are, they are at the most fundamental level promoting our survival, whether it's just I feel more comfortable or I'm gonna jump out of the way so I don't get run over.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: All of those are fit into the-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … to, to the conversation of survival.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: So, um-

Scott Hammond: You bring up a paradox though. So if there's me trying to be the individual and also fitting into community-

Tom Rector: Mm-hmm

Scott Hammond: … now we have a perhaps conflicting interest, maybe not. Um, Frank Zappa is famous, the, the artist. The Rolling Stones and The Beatles used to come to LA to see Frank-

Tom Rector: Okay

Scott Hammond: … 'cause he was a genius-

Tom Rector: Okay

Scott Hammond: … musician, and apparently a lot of fun. But he, he saw all the kids at the sc- at the concerts wearing Levi's and T-shirts like you and I did 100 years ago, and he goes, "You're all in uniforms, and you've all conformed in your non-conformity."

Tom Rector: Yes. Right.

Scott Hammond: And, and the paradox of that, I'm going, "Yeah, me too. I wear a vest just like all old farts do and have a goatee and run around with some bling on. I, I guess I've conformed." Um, and an iWatch. Hey, let's, let's see your iWatch.

Scott Hammond: You and I- See, we've conformed. So i- it's an interesting, um, uh, conundrum.

Tom Rector: Mm-hmm.

Scott Hammond: And how can we help in– people be individuals and still feel part of a commun- I– and tough one, especially these days, 'cause now my community lives in here. Hey, what's up? You know, here's, here's my, my echo

Scott Hammond: chamber-

Tom Rector: Mm-hmm

Scott Hammond: … telling me all the things that I wanna hear and know and reinforcing all my BS narrative, some of which is probably whatever.

Scott Hammond: So in- interesting. Any comment on that?

Tom Rector: Um, which part of it?

Scott Hammond: Uh-

Tom Rector: The BS part or?

Scott Hammond: Well, the, the, the- No, no, no. Um, just the fact that there's this, there, there's this duality to all people.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: That we, we– I wanna be expressed, expressive and creative and understood, an individual, but I also really need, I really need people. And, and that's okay. That's all okay.

Tom Rector: So, uh, one of the teachings, niche training courses I have is around what I call the agreement process. And, um, I teach it to the teens, and I teach it to the parents both. And, and, uh, and I choose to do that not concurrently because it's one language for the teens-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and it's another language for the parents. The c- a component of that teaching is a what is, what is maturity?

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: What– We, we know it when we see it, but what is it?

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: And, um, so I've chosen to name it, and I've named it through an acronym of SHRR, S-H-R-R.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: Self-sufficient,

Tom Rector: honest, responsible, and respect.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: And what that does is allow the person to be an

Tom Rector: individual and at the same time coexist productively with others.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: 'Cause if you respect that you get to be who you are and I get to be who I am-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and I'm responsible for whatever I choose to do, and I choose to be self-sufficient, not dependent, and honesty has to do with an investment in the future relationships.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: So by naming that and giving the youth that as the measure of

Tom Rector: maturity-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … um, it makes sense to them.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Uh, and I've, I've taught in the locked up probation kids in Del Norte.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, uh, the reviews I've gotten from the staff there is that I'm the only one that they've listened to.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: Uh, the other ones they just-

Scott Hammond: Attend

Tom Rector: … put up with it.

Scott Hammond: Attend.

Tom Rector: Yeah, attend, right?

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: Like, 'cause I have to, right?

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: Um, so to answer the question is,

Tom Rector: um, maturity allows us to coexist and

Tom Rector: be a person.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And how do we name that so it can be understood rather than you're not acting

Tom Rector: mature?

Scott Hammond: Right.

Tom Rector: Uh, or you need to act mature. So it quantifies it.

Scott Hammond: Sorry about that. That, that's only happened twice in 91

Scott Hammond: editions

Tom Rector: All right, all right. I'm special.

Scott Hammond: I would call that, I'd call that emotional intelligence, too. It, it's been written about. It's same, same sort of idea that… And w- go with S-H-R-R again.

Tom Rector: So self-sufficient,

Tom Rector: honest,

Tom Rector: responsible,

Tom Rector: respect.

Scott Hammond: Respect. I like that.

Scott Hammond: Um-

Tom Rector: And tho- and those are… Each one of those are an investment both in the individual themselves and an investment in their relationship with the others for the future.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: So-

Scott Hammond: Honesty is, is, is a, a deposit you're making in a relationship.

Tom Rector: Yep.

Scott Hammond: I like that. Um, if you're just joining us, it's, uh, my friend Tom Rector talking about a whole bunch of cool stuff, and, uh, we'll get back to that in a minute. Real quick, uh, if one wanted to reach out to you, th- this… I'll give you another shout-out here in a minute, but what's your… How would we get a hold of you, talk to you, talk about curricula, go to the website? What, how do, how are you, uh, connected to?

Tom Rector: So our website is Accrescent Institute, and you come on, go online, and there's all kinds of material there, uh, and trainings that are available for all different audience interests, uh, needs.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Uh, there's the ability to do one-on-one.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: There's the, uh, ability to do Zoom trainings in small groups, and then of course I could go on site. We list on the, uh, site also the upcoming trainings that we do at conferences. For example, Saturday I'll be in Washington State doing a presentation training. Two of them, actually.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Uh, one is on the agreement process, and one is, uh, focused on the I- IEPs that are-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … done in schools.

Scott Hammond: Sure.

Tom Rector: And, uh, that'll, that… We'll be doing that on Saturday. And then the next one is, uh, National Head Start, uh, in Orlando in December, so.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: Um, there's all, multiple ways to connect. Multiple ways to connect. First step is to come out on the website and

Tom Rector: just-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … kinda look it over and see how it works and-

Scott Hammond: Accrescent Institute.

Tom Rector: Accrescent Institute.

Scott Hammond: Accrescent.

Tom Rector: Accrescent.

Scott Hammond: So there should be-

Tom Rector: A-C-C-R-E-S-C-E-N-T.

Scott Hammond: Okay. Institute. Or we could Google or s- or GP- ChatGPT, uh, Tom Rector. I bet, I bet you come right up.

Tom Rector: Uh, probably there.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: Probably there.

Scott Hammond: Which is the more cool kid, modern, digital way.

Scott Hammond: "Hey, how do I get to-

Tom Rector: Yeah, right

Scott Hammond: … Washington State?"

Tom Rector: Right.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: I, I was just told the other day is that you, hey, you can say, "Hey, Siri, where am I? What's the address?"

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And it'll give you the address of wherever you are, I thought.

Scott Hammond: I hadn't thought of that. That's… You know, uh- … tech. You and I have seen a lot of tech. Hey, so I wanna do the quiz part, and we'll come back to, uh, a little bit more of the stuff. So this is the fun part where you can win… Oh, Tom, what do we have for you here? A Dick Taylor hazelnut milk chocolate bar-

Tom Rector: Oh

Scott Hammond: … to eat all the way back to Oregon tonight, if you wish. Uh, made with 55%, uh, Alexander Family Farm a2a2 milk, which is up in Smith River, as you might know.

Tom Rector: Okay, okay.

Scott Hammond: Question number one. I'm not gonna go easy on you either, so you gotta earn this candy bar.

Tom Rector: Uh, I like chocolate.

Scott Hammond: Okay, good. What's your best day? What, what's been your best day of your life? Or one, one of the best days of your life. That's unfair to ask for the best day.

Tom Rector: By golly, I guess I don't really think about best days. Let me think a minute.

Tom Rector: So, um, well, there's a lot of best days. Probably the good starting place is the day Shelley agreed to marry me.

Scott Hammond: Wow. Were you on bended knee in Eureka somewhere or?

Tom Rector: Pretty close.

Scott Hammond: Uh-huh.

Tom Rector: Pretty close.

Scott Hammond: And she s- What'd she say?

Tom Rector: The very first answer was yes.

Scott Hammond: Uh-huh.

Tom Rector: So she didn't have to think about it, so that was good.

Scott Hammond: That's good. That's good. Positive response. Hey, question number two. Uh, worst day of your life or, or one of the worst?

Scott Hammond: Tough day.

Tom Rector: Uh, our son died.

Scott Hammond: I bet, yeah. That would be hard.

Tom Rector: It is.

Scott Hammond: Yeah, yeah. Rough. I'm sorry. Uh, what, uh, question number three. What do you find fulfilling?

Tom Rector: Um,

Tom Rector: I enjoy, I enjoy f- creating a solution to something-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and, uh, when it's for someone. So, for example, a kitchen remodel. How do I make this nicer in here? And I can be, I'm able to come up with something that really brings it all together for them, and they just go, "Yeah."

Scott Hammond: Nice. You saw it, you saw it somewhere before they could see it.

Tom Rector: Right. And it isn't just kitchens. I mean, it's, there's all kinds of-

Scott Hammond: Right

Tom Rector: … situations, but-

Scott Hammond: I have a son-in-law like you. He could, he goes, "See this? This is the…" And I'm going, "I can't see it, but keep talking." You know? Not, not very creative up here. But you are, and you're bringing it to life by virtue of your, your descriptors, and here's what I would do.

Scott Hammond: I would put-

Tom Rector: Right

Scott Hammond: … um, you know, do this landscape and do this with the door and blah, blah, blah. Um, number four. What do you find soul-crushing for you? What just zaps you of, of life when you experience it?

Tom Rector: You know, that's not a space I have.

Scott Hammond: Good. Good. Okay, good answer.

Scott Hammond: Um, number, the question. You take Shelley anywhere to dinner in Humboldt. It's on Joni and I. Where do you go, where do you go out to eat?

Tom Rector: Uh, well, Shelley's not in Humboldt.

Scott Hammond: No, I know that. But she could be someday.

Tom Rector: And, and she can't go out in public Activity places now. So it's not something given much thought of.

Scott Hammond: Okay.

Tom Rector: So, um, maybe in past years, it would be pretty fancy salad at Wendy's.

Scott Hammond: There you go. You know, it kind of begs the question, I was gonna maybe hold this in abeyance. In the back in the day, I would see Tom frequently at McDonald's.

Tom Rector: Yes.

Scott Hammond: I was, I was, um, you know, on my sales route selling chuck- selling ads for the Tri-City Weekly Newspaper or Cox Cable or Suddenlink, and, "Hey, Tom, what's up?" You know, and here you are at McDonald's. So McDonald's was your, your go-to.

Tom Rector: S- It was a go-to. They had a salad, uh, back when they had salads and, and salad was a good thing for me.

Scott Hammond: They don't, they don't anymore, huh?

Tom Rector: Uh-uh.

Scott Hammond: It's all, it's all different.

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah. I think the COVID shut that down. But, um, yes, and, uh, I could go there, set up the laptop and work away and all the noises and all the issues and all the problems, not one of them had anything to do with me.

Scott Hammond: Right.

Tom Rector: So it was actually kinda white noise able to-

Scott Hammond: A third space.

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: So it's really just kind of a, a pri- my own private room of being able to work on s- focus projects.

Scott Hammond: And there's more coffee if you need it.

Tom Rector: Well, I don't drink coffee, so I didn't need it.

Scott Hammond: Don't worry. You didn't need it. Don't worry about it. Well, g- great answers. Um, what do you do for fun by the– Oh, bonus question. What's your, what's your– What's a perfect day for you?

Tom Rector: Oh. I would say there's multiple ones. Can I give a multiple answer?

Scott Hammond: Of course, yeah, just the elements of the multiples.

Tom Rector: So, um, dancing to some good music, uh, that's a really, that's a really good, um-

Scott Hammond: You're a dancer.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: I never thought– I wouldn't have thought that, and I wouldn't have thought I was a dancer, but I, I'm a pretty good dancer.

Tom Rector: Oh?

Scott Hammond: Just ask Joni.

Tom Rector: Yeah, right.

Scott Hammond: Yeah.

Tom Rector: Unbiased opinion there.

Scott Hammond: Yeah. Anytime I get up to dance is a good dance for Jo- It's like s- such a reluctant dancer for so long.

Tom Rector: Um-

Scott Hammond: They, they might see me.

Tom Rector: There, there we go. Uh, let's see, another one would be, um, have some really solid soccer games.

Tom Rector: Um, made some, made some good stops.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Was sharp.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: That, that's a, that's a good day.

Tom Rector: Um-

Scott Hammond: You're a goalie, I understand. Is that right?

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah, I'm a goalie.

Scott Hammond: Nice.

Tom Rector: Yeah. Yeah, you just have to get in the way. It's, that's-

Scott Hammond: That's right. That's all

Tom Rector: … it's really basic. It's really basic.

Scott Hammond: It's a good skill to learn.

Tom Rector: The trick is being fast enough to get in the way.

Tom Rector: Um, and, uh, I would say, um, one particular training I really enjoy doing, which is the agreement process, where I present the information and then the group, the room divides up into small groups, and each one of those small groups go through the process, and it's so alive-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and so many light, light bulbs are going on and interchange.

Scott Hammond: Oh, that's cool.

Tom Rector: It's j- it's just, just a really positive energy thing. I, uh, I feel really good about that.

Scott Hammond: So you can watch people learn.

Tom Rector: Well, and I'm not-

Scott Hammond: Adapt

Tom Rector: … so much watching, I'm contributing-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … uh, in the sense of either giving them the information and-

Scott Hammond: Sure

Tom Rector: … answering questions or nudging them like, "No, not that one, this one." And, uh, just really good, just to see that it made a

Tom Rector: difference.

Scott Hammond: And then sit for a second and find some joy in all that.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: That's cool.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: I like that a lot. Um, so tell, tell us about your legacy. What would you– What do you wanna be remembered for? S- And sometimes I talk about a tombstone. What would it say on that? We saw some real entertaining ones up Jacksonville, Oregon- … that were very– Some of them were very old, and some of them were very funny, and it was, it was quite entertaining. So at your, uh, celebration of life, what are, what are we gonna say about Tom Rector?

Tom Rector: Well, let's see. Let's go to the tombstone. Uh, it should have a name and the dates on it, and that's all I need.

Scott Hammond: Okay.

Tom Rector: So I, I just don't need any more.

Tom Rector: Um-

Scott Hammond: Something simple

Tom Rector: … um, uh, I, I think the, probably the measure of whether I was successful or not is whether I w- what I provided made a difference.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm. It's good. Yeah.

Tom Rector: Whatever it was.

Scott Hammond: It sounds like you're doing a lot of providing these days.

Tom Rector: Trying.

Scott Hammond: Yeah. Yeah.

Tom Rector: Trying.

Scott Hammond: I love it. Tell me, um, so, uh, I have the, the board, the boards that you've served on, so I'd love to hear about that just for a second before we do more shout-outs on how to find you.

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: Uh, you served on, uh, the, uh, CASA board, I, I think, correct?

Tom Rector: So CASA of Humboldt for a few years, uh, and then, uh, CASA of Humboldt created, set up, Steve Valo, great guy, uh, set up, um, Del Norte County to have their own, uh, CASA organization.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And I was part of the founding group for CASA of Del Norte, and I was there with that for many years.

Scott Hammond: Wow.

Tom Rector: Actually, uh, they got into a financial situation, and, uh, so I ended up being the volunteer executive director for a couple years. The lady now who runs the show and has for a long time, uh, Christine Sletten, she's just, she's just really great. Really, really great. So, um, those two boards, um, National Foster Parent Association, a national organization-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … was there for four years.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: And, um, that was a, that was a new experience for me-

Scott Hammond: Mm

Tom Rector: … at a, at a national level.

Tom Rector: And, and it was interesting to discover that it really isn't any different. It's the same, it's the same thing. How do we get revenue, and how do we stay on target, and-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … how do we make sure that, uh, we operate professionally? And, uh, it was, it, it was an interesting experience on, from that standpoint.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Um, I was on the, basically the founding of Inside Sports, um, that was a futsal soccer program for a couple decades.

Scott Hammond: That's inside indoor soccer stuff?

Tom Rector: Uh, it's, it's– Futsal is, um, a soccer

Tom Rector: game of five Members on a team

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: Uh, one, one keeper and four field, and it's played on a basketball court.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm.

Tom Rector: Um, Joe Homan and, uh, Jan Page were key, key people that-

Scott Hammond: Hmm

Tom Rector: … brought the, uh, focus and the, the information, the knowledge of how that all works. They were– It, it wouldn't happen without those two folks.

Tom Rector: And-

Scott Hammond: Like a n- a national level or local?

Tom Rector: No, just here, just Humboldt County.

Tom Rector: And yeah-

Scott Hammond: Homan. That, I recognize that name.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Arca-Arcata.

Tom Rector: Yeah. Um-

Scott Hammond: You know, there's a lot of Homans up there.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Tom Rector: I know Joe. Um- … and, uh, you know, and they served five hundred, six hundred kids and adults, mostly kids-

Scott Hammond: Wow

Tom Rector: … for, uh, year after year after year after year. Um, Melissa Morrison, who ran the day-to-day stuff of it, she was just a gem and a jewel, and-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … her husband, Patrick Shanahan, was, uh, he was just right there all the time.

Scott Hammond: Hmm.

Tom Rector: So had really good people and-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … um, I just had to sign as president all

Tom Rector: those years.

Scott Hammond: Gotcha. Cool. So d- you ever know Pete Shepherd?

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: He's a soccer-

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Ever knew Pete?

Tom Rector: Yeah, yeah.

Scott Hammond: Shout out to Pete.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Yeah, he, uh, he led the Humboldt Rec program when I was, uh, right out of college and ran all the r- rural rec programs from Trinidad down to Briceland.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Great guy. Really amazing.

Tom Rector: Around a long time.

Scott Hammond: Yeah, a long time. So how do we get ahold of Tom Rector or the organization if we need to, besides ChatGPT or Google?

Tom Rector: Well, they– It depends on what your needs are, is that if

Tom Rector: you're in, in the world of, uh, adoption, foster parenting kinds of things-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … Acrescent Institute.

Scott Hammond: Okay.

Tom Rector: If you're in the world of, uh, of hardware and trusses and overhead doors and, uh, remodel stuff, Thomas Home Center.

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm. Dot com?

Tom Rector: Dot com.

Scott Hammond: Pretty easy to find that.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Wow. So, hey, is there a book in the works?

Tom Rector: There has been a book in the works for a long time. Uh, if, if aging is an important ingredient, I've got that covered.

Scott Hammond: Right.

Tom Rector: So

Scott Hammond: Well, there may come a time where you are, uh, uh, able to, uh, settle in and write the book or two.

Tom Rector: You, you know, I've, I've worked on it off and on,

Tom Rector: and, um, c- clearly, I, I am challenged about how to bring the information forward-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … so that it connects to the multiple different audiences-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and yet not be sprayed all over the wall too, so.

Scott Hammond: Sure.

Tom Rector: Somewhere. I'm sure Shannon will get me squared away and-

Scott Hammond: She will

Tom Rector: … get me pointed.

Scott Hammond: You got a decent editor there.

Scott Hammond: Things-

Tom Rector: Oh

Scott Hammond: … really get it done.

Tom Rector: She's, she's good.

Scott Hammond: Yeah. Shout out to Shannon again. Hi, Shannon. Um, so maybe videos too? Are there videos on the website? Are you, you do YouTubes or-

Tom Rector: There, there is and, and, uh, each year, each year, uh, we're– we set up different goals of what we have and, uh, this two- two thousand twenty-six is gonna be, uh, focused more on creating, uh, YouTube m- content-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … also. So-

Scott Hammond: Mm-hmm

Tom Rector: … and just keep growing.

Scott Hammond: Yep.

Tom Rector: It's self-funded, so, and there's a certain amount of limitation there.

Scott Hammond: Yeah, there there are limited resources. Hey, before I forget, uh, you did win the Dick Taylor chocolate.

Tom Rector: Oh, hallelujah.

Scott Hammond: So I just want you to-

Tom Rector: Okay.

Scott Hammond: Does, does Shelly like chocolate?

Tom Rector: Uh, she does, but, uh-

Scott Hammond: I hope this makes it up to Oregon.

Tom Rector: No.

Scott Hammond: Okay.

Tom Rector: Thank you, sir.

Scott Hammond: You're welcome.

Tom Rector: Yeah.

Scott Hammond: Thanks for being here. Appreciate you.

Tom Rector: Thank you.

Scott Hammond: Yeah, I really do. And, uh, thanks for listening. Uh, if you wanna tune in to us, we're at, uh, YouTube, all the podcast platforms. We, we love the positive reviews, comments. Like us, subscribe to us.

Scott Hammond: Uh, love us and like us, please. That would be amazing. And tell your friends.

Tom Rector: Yes.

Scott Hammond: And, uh, thank you again, Tom Rector, for being here. Appreciate you.

Tom Rector: Thank you very much.

Scott Hammond: You bet. Have a great one.

Tom Rector: Thank you.